Archive for August, 2010


avoiding reality… (you know, in your heart, when a little has become too much)Yesterday I read a fellow blogger’s thought on addiction and how closely coping mechanisms can get to that. My number one reason for embracing habitual coping mechanisms is to avoid pain, pain of the heart. We all really try to avoid pain more then we should. I know I do more then I realise until I STOP and really think about it.

I prefer to keep out of the coping mechanism category when I am debating with in myself about how I am doing and just say I am using a healthy little bit of escapism now and then and that is all… Sometimes, however, that isn’t all that is going on. I am thankful for being caught red handed. It isn’t as big a deal as it seems when I am avoiding the truth… or it wasn’t this time, thank the Lord.

The blogger’s article stopped me in my tracks. I was surfing randomly (looking for something to distract myself with) when I landed on her post and it hit me hard because of what I had been up to lately and was up to right then. I had been heavily enjoying regular escapism lately. Only moments before I was putting on another cup of tea and consciously realising I had a moment to myself if I wanted it. The kids where napping, the house was quiet… I should stop and have some devotional time… but this soft call of the Spirit was quickly drowned out by a stop at the computer.

I have issues, we all do, but I want to remember to make Jesus my escapism, my coping mechanism, my first choice confidant. He wants that too and so his Spirit sweetly continues to call me to ‘be still and know that I am God’.

Thank you sweet Jesus for catching me being human and offering me the perfect coping mechanism; your love.


I Hate Jeans!

This post has been coming for a while, bubbling up inside me! Fear of the masses and their jean love affair has held me back, but NO MORE!

I hate jeans…

Hate is a strong word…

I really dislike jeans. I dislike wearing them. I dislike that I can no longer say all are uncomfortable… most still are though… I dislike sitting in jeans, bending down in jeans… standing… well okay, standing in them is alright.

I dislike the fact that they are costly, that I own them and that a few of them actually look really good on… because then I feel pressured to wear them…

I dislike that when I am getting ready for a date night with my man he will ask me (with a big honest grin) to wear ‘jeans and a t-shirt’… I dislike having to put the dress back in the closet to make him happy…

I wish I disliked the proud look he gives me when I walk out in his favorite outfit… blue jeans and a t-shirt…

If I could just resist that smile, that look he gives me…

I wear jeans because I love him.


The Return To School

This was one of those perfect New England days in late summer where the spirit of autumn takes a first stealing flight,
like a spy, through the ripening country-side,
and, with feigned sympathy for those who droop with August heat,
puts her cool cloak of bracing air about leaf and flower and human shoulders.

~Sarah Orne Jewett

Every joyful summer must come to an end.

Every child must return to school.

I complain about all the supplies that need to be collected for each new school year but truly I am grateful for the distraction. I have been bustling around all weekend trying to ignore the conflict in my heart and mind. I don’t think I am afraid to send them as I daily was when they first started this grand adventure of education out side of the home, BUT, I still feel emotional this time of year.

I feel thankful for the schedules return. Yet I want to complain about the pending doom of winters dark cold mornings at the bus stop. I feel thankful for alone time with my youngest too, it is so much simpler and quieter and the house remains clean longer, but I also feel so heartsick with loneliness for my older two. I feel excited for them, thankful that they are pumped about being with friends again and yet… I want them to be with me, they are mine (or so my mama heart screams)!

Well I think that could just be a complete list of my battling emotions…

I feel better already…

Back to sharpening mounds of pencils and labeling each and every one along with every pencil crayon, crayon and marker…


Catching Fairies

My big girl and little woman looked very sweet today as they ran around on the lawn. They had a whimsy dance to each step as they ran after ‘fairies’. They where blowing the dandy lion seeds and then trying to catch them. It was a sweet little moment of pure childhood imagination and fun. I am not totally sure why Little Woman had her ballet skirt on her head but it added to it all.While they lived in the moment I couldn’t help but think about school starting on Monday… I had new runners, backpacks and other supplies on my mind… This mom knows all to well how sudden summer will come to an end… Ah it is all so sweet, summer holidays that is, when you are a child.


3 Turn 30 Within 1 Week!

I thought it was family blog worth of note to mention that there have been three BIG birthdays this summer! Mirelle turned 30 on July 31st and then her man Garrison turned 30 on the 5th of August and I followed with my 30th birthday on August 6th. Nice to be the youngest on the Fehr side of the family!



and it might be a big cheezy but who else is gonna post it…



Looking for Seeds and Not Just the Weeds

(My boy having a good look at the camp scenery and also his first taste of real freedom from Mom and Dad!)

It was good for Big Girl that I let her experience a week away at camp first, she is the oldest after all but I am glad that Big Boy has also gotten to have his first week away this year. He could hardly sleep the night before sports camp and was the perfect helper in the morning. He practically loaded all his stuff and his three siblings into the van with out my help. We got there early and so he got first pick of the beds! A big deal in the world of camp!

Almost the moment he was gone I was thinking about what a wonderful boy he is (in a haze of mama mush and heart sick loneliness with one fewer child around). You could say I was seeing him in a rose colored light and could only think of how lovely he is as a helper around the house and what a gentleman he is when we go out together.

While I know none of my children are perfect, and wouldn’t want to place the weight of such a silly notion on there little shoulders, I think it is so healthy for a mommy to think about the qualities growing in their children’s souls. It is important to look for and be thankful for the seeds of love and quality sprouting in their hearts. With kiddo chaos easy to find and troubles ready to spring up like weeds daily it can be really hard to remember each child is a special little gift from God. Instead it becomes all to easy to see them as a herd of animals out to get their parents.

Thank you Jesus for each of my babies and may they grow in you and for you!


About Turning 30

I have decided I am thirty.

I got all the ‘ooooh thhhhiiiiirrrrttttyyy!’ comments and the winks and nods with furrowed brows meaning ‘oh I feel for you, mid life crisis coming on perhaps?’ We it is all very cliche and my responses can only be just as cliche. This woman is happy to be through the twenties. I have many reasons for being thankful to have survived those ten years of new married life and new mommy life but I would rather talk about what I have decided about turning thirty.

First off I have decided I am a confident mother and woman. Growing up that is what I thought the 30s where all about! Learning to control your emotions better, getting over your self esteem issues and rock’n what ever it is you do! So I have decided I am confident as me! I am especially confident as the me Christ is molding me into! Well, that is that!

What did you do for your big birthday is always the next comment. Well my husband was very sweet and got me a hand made bracelet in a fav color of mine. He also took me to Michael Buble. I really didn’t need a big party because I feel like I have been partying for a while!This year brought so much expansion to my world and I felt like it was a perfect way to celebrate my thirtieth year reached! Went on a couple ‘me’ trips for the first time in ten years. First ever girl friend trip with my sister Mirelle and then took a train with my brothers family to a best pals wedding and fulfilled a dream of mine, to take the train. These trips helped me remember I am a woman and that does not depreciate how much I adore being a mom. The secret is just in quantity and quality. I believe in keeping the ‘big special stuff‘ small in quantity, so they remains special, and making sure these big experiences are quality.

So I can now say I am an adult right?!


My Northern Folk (Mom)

Dad has always been a rock in my life. He is so strong and loving… My mother to was strong…I am so thankful for the feminine strength and love I always knew in my mother.

(I would not say she is shy but I felt like I had to sneak a lot of pictures of Mom. She was a big reason why our holiday was so lovely so I had to get some proof that she was there.)

Mom always works so hard to make us comfortable and yet is true to her self, her style, her life. You go to her house and you will know what being a northerner is all about. She has a beautifully kept yard, full of her flowers and her and Dad’s gardens. Many of our meals came straight from their garden. Potatoes and veggies barely emerged from the soil and where immediately cleaned, prepared and eaten (oh yum). They work so hard at mowing it all, keeping the trees from taking over and more. Her house is so homey. Warm and welcoming, it speaks the truth that real people live there. She is a meticulous house keeper and lovely cook. We had many a lovely and practical meal during our stay and there was pie, made with HER berries, to enjoy. The night we arrived we where given a piece with some tea and milk to help us relax after our long journey! What a perfect way to be welcomed!

I think more then ever I felt an appreciation for my Mom’s confident and content personality. She is a good example to me on how to be content where you are and with what you have. She works hard and enjoys her world a great deal. You can tell she loves so many things about her home. Her green house makes her beam with pride. Dad made it with mostly used stuff from around the acreage but that doesn’t matter to her at all! It is suited so well to her needs, made by her man and so it is wonderful. She could probably wander around her yard endlessly puttering and be totally happy. When her house needs work you can tell she enjoys fixing and working on it, and isn’t over come with jobs at hand. She loves her man, her home, her world, her Lord and I love that about her!

(We where together so much longer then our usual trips so the kids and their grand folks got to know one another so much better. Nanny loves to swim as much as I, so going to the beach day after day with her was perfect. We took turns watching on the kids while the other floated around in the beautiful water.)
(Thank you for baking with Little Woman, for letting her help you with the kitchen tasks. She really needs that and I am so glad you got to see so much of the real her, super chatty and all! So often when I look at my Little Woman I think of my mom!!)

Hats off to all you do and all the love you share through your good work ethic Mom. We appreciate you so much!


My Northern Folk (Dad)

Through years of my Mom’s wise instruction I learned to enjoy little things and grew in understanding about how important it is to find contentment in life. Apparently enjoying the little things came from my Dad as well. He is retired now so we got to spend much of the holiday goofing off with him, while Mom was a work. I enjoyed seeing how much fun he gained from doing the littlest things with the kids and I. He had a blast taking us out for McD’s (only my Dad could convince me to eat at THAT place, he he he). The day we drove all the way to town to get the perfect hot dog for a barbecue lunch topped off with many glasses of chocolate milk he was the instigator and we all loved it. Shopping with him was great fun. I love how Dad enjoys life and doesn’t have to take everything serious. After all, not everything is serious! He was totally game when I insisted we all try out the turquoise and pink chairs that I fell in love with at Canadian Tire and he never shys away from a joke or a goofy game with the kids. He is still the hilarious Dad I grew up with! When everyone was rolling their eyes at his latest punny joke I couldn’t help but roll with laughter! I ask you, how can you not laugh when a man is laughing so full of joy at his own joke?

A spur of the moment tea time, put on by Dad, was a pinnacle memory on our trip. Before I knew it Dad had made up a bunch of iddy bitty peanut butter and berry squares of toast, a big pot of tea and a sweetly set table for out tea. It was all followed up with creamsicle ice cream so you must know my kids gained new respect for their grandpa that afternoon.

Spot on Dad, spot on!

We love you so much and greatly appreciated this holiday and all the time we spent with you! You sure know how to make an ordinary day an extraordinary one!


August’s Hymn

The hymn I have chosen for this month is O blessed, living Lord . Follow the link if you wish to check it out yourself.

I didn’t forget, I have been practicing it. I just didn’t get around till now to post about it.

Lyrics where written by George West Frazer