Archive for March, 2011

Be Well

Dear little daughter, I am sorry you are ill today… sorry I made it about me the moment I realized you where going to loose your breakfast. It didn’t ruin my day to stay home with you, it just changed the day. Today is about you getting better.

I keep peeking in on you and sigh with thanks that you are sleeping comfortably long into the day. You managed to keep some food and drink down, and took your medicine like a gem. You amaze me with your ability to smile at me when you are sick. As I tucked you, once again, under the blue patch-work quilt we both exchanged love you’s and I felt the shame about being selfish in my reaction this morning slip away. You feel no ill will, just ill tummy and I love you for it. Be well little lady… be well daughter of mine.

MY GIRL –“Mama I think I am sick.”
MYSELF — “Where is your sick honey?”
MY GIRL –“Right here in my belly button.”


Spring, New Little Potted Plant and Growing Now (fourteen)

(A precious little plant sits near my front window… potted by my eldest daughter… it is a sweet reminder of life and growth.)

Going to a gardening show with my eldest child’s class reminded me it was time to wait and watch for spring. Time has been flying this year and I actually missed the brooding months of winter because I was simply to busy for it, BUT I do adore spring and so I am excited to feel its approach. Winter appears to still have a steal grip on the land when you look at all our ice and snow but my morning jog is graced with the presence of an earlier sun and the kids complain of too much light at bed time… all this is a grand sign of springs inevitability!

Winters end makes me reminisce and examine my own history. I am a mother of four. I am a wife, have been for almost eleven years now. I am a Christian, and have been for about 15 years. Have I grown up? Perhaps…

I am certain that I have grown and the learning curve of life has often spiked straight up. A heart willing and fearless about growing helps the climb go smoother and quicker. Different climbs have been far more straining on my body and others on my mind and even others still, on my heart. It is good to look back long enough to see where we began and how far we have come… and I used to think it was essential to then look ahead with big dreams, to grind my teeth with determination and walk with stubbornness… but lately I am better at enjoying the climb, where I am at, and that is largely because this growth is happening without me…

Spring is change, growth, rebirth and that is in the now of our lives. It is beautiful, delicate and oh so short. The return of spring reminds me to live today. I have and am surrendering dreams and finding better… I have and am embracing my shortcomings and finding strengths in their place… I am learning all the time what love is, what wisdom is and I am blessed. I feel freedom in my heart more then ever before and I believe that is a true sign of growth!

I thank God for spring, and more then that I am thankful for each and every day for growth, for NOW in Christ.


Wee Bit Wednesday (3)

{one} what was your first job?
Groundskeeper/chef/waitress at a local lake resort.

{two} have you ever seen a stand up comedian?
no, I guess our provinces isn’t funny enough… they don’t seem to be around….

{three} when was the last time you played mini golf?
YEARS ago, about 4, on a date with my man when we first moved to the city.

{four} what was the last picture you took?
The meal I made last night… I have a thing (trying to encourage myself in a MUST JOB) for taking pics of meals I succeed at and posting them on fb.

{five} burnt food: yes or no?
no… except marshmallows over the fire and hot-dogs and.. well those are it for the exceptions.

{six} if you have a pocket full of change, what do you do with it?
Jump up and down and head to the local thrift store… I think my man confiscates most change around here so I never seem to have change on my person lately!

{seven} can you touch your tongue to your nose?
No, just tried to be sure, but no…

{eight} do you scrapbook?
NO, it is so beyond me plus I have to many other hobbies I am already torn between!

{nine} do you buy lottery tickets?
No, no deep reason either…never been interested or drawn to it…

{ten} do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?
Absolutely behind BUT because I understand how nice it is to take and have pics of people I have worked really hard at being comfortable in front so I don’t make picture takers uncomfortable.


Beauty or Open Topic Marriage Monday

(pssst, please note: I recommend you go to my music play list on the right side panel and select Fernando Ortega’s song STORM, to listen to while reading this.)

The most beautiful things in life are often something one has to strive for and seek out with great effort. Beauty can be simply hard to find. The fact is, things that are lovely become BEAUTIFUL with hard work involved. We will treasure the beauty we find when the path has been long and difficult… it is just human nature to appreciate the dawn more because of the darkness it followed.

There are times in my marriage where I feel intense love and desire for my man that can only be compared to the years of our young romance before marriage. The word spark is often used for such feelings but I feel more like they are an explosion in my heart. It is a fire that makes my heart feel too small, an urge that makes it unbearable not to be with him, a stabbing pain that makes me tear up with joy to touch him. I find these times in life BEAUTIFUL! I treasure them all the more after many many years of marriage and I feel blessed with them, as one receiving a very valuable gift, when I reflect on all the hard times we have had.

There have been deserts in our marriage, I believe we are not unique in that regard. When we make it through still holding on to one another we are often tattered and warn, broken and bruised, dirty and just plain unlovable in many regards… and yet… with a little time to heal, a little repose from the battles we find time to build a fire again… we didn’t give up, we fought for the oasis… now we fan that flame when we have the chance and we enjoy the beauty of a crazy long lasting love.

When I thought about the suggestion of ‘beauty’ as a topic this week this concept filled me up till I felt burdened to release it. Listening to my husband play his piano, a moody passionate piece I must add, has greatly aided my paper and pen time today.

I just want to close with the idea that if a marriage is still together it is BEAUTIFUL.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

Forgiveness (thirteen)

(Riddick has nipped, my little fellow has punched… and yet they keep working on their relationship.)

When my children engage in fighting and hurt one another I ask them to forgive one another. They always want to know why… what is in it for them? I remind them that the other does love them and it is worth forgiving to keep that love whole. I remind them that the other person is more then the wrong they committed and worth the pain it takes to forgive them. I remind them they don’t have to prove how wronged they where by holding on to it, length of time brooding doesn’t prove how bad it was. A long held wrong only continues to hurt the one who holds on to it, the most and the more. “Is this the hill you want this relationship to die on?” and they always look at me… “Another words, is this issue more important then your brother/sister?” The answer, thank the Lord, has to date always been no it isn’t as important as him/her.

I, me thinks like most other adults, struggle with this when faced with times to forgive… all the more when loved ones are the culprit, when loved ones are the victim or when fear is involved in the hurt… I pray by teaching my kids these ideas about forgiveness young they will not struggle as we adults often do… I pray by teaching this I will indeed learn it myself…

I am not so proud that I assume the wrongs I have committed have ever been less then those committed against me or that my wrongs where easier to forgive… I am not so naive as to think I will not be in need of forgiveness from others in the future.

I just find it hard… I just find it scary… I just keep on forgiving and pray for forgiveness my way. I just keep letting the tears come as I remember what my forgiveness cost my God… how he loves me in the depths of my unloveableness… when I am messy… when I am ugly…. He loves me, Jesus forgives me… AND I AM SO THANKFUL FOR FORGIVENESS!

He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.
~George Herbert


This Families Music (My Brother)

LETS GET A LITTLE HEAVIER with my brothers music style!

Victoria Awake

My older brother has been doing music for years! He has done a lot of stuff on his own and has been in a few different bands. His current VICTORIA AWAKE is the group featured on this video. Aaron (my brother) does the vocals in this song and Mike is the guitarist you are seeing.

I greatly appreciate this kind of music just as much as the milder stuff that you will have noticed featured in this little project of mine, in earlier posts. It is fun, it is creative and it is his so I like it!


Wee Bit Wednesday (2)

{one} scruffy or clean shaven?
clean actually, just had a jockey clothing party at my house and they make you try stuff on so had to shave!

{two} what’s your favorite sundae topping?
bananas… or nuts… or coconut… oh rats…

{three} do you own slippers?

oh yeah! they are another reason to shoe shop in my mind, fav pair are mary jane and leopard print.

{four} did you ever have a tree house?
to many to count, grew up in the canadian shield and my brothers and i where forever building tree houses.

{five} how you do relieve stress?
tea, naps, books, and baths in no particular order.

{six} what’s your favorite dr. seuss book?
the b book, honestly don’t know very many but have read that one to my kids often.

{seven} have you ever taken dance classes?
yes, informal ones just before some community dances we have attended, my man and i are gonna do regular ones next year, YAHOO!

{eight} which do you use more: the thesaurus or the dictionary?

{nine} what’s your favorite form of exercise?

{ten} what’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line?

40 minutes, at a government agency.


This Families Music (My Brother)

LETS GET A LITTLE HEAVIER with my brothers music style!

My older brother has been doing music for years! He has done a lot of stuff on his own and has been in a few different bands. His current VICTORIA AWAKE is the group featured on this video. I greatly appreciate this kind of music just as much as the milder stuff that you will have noticed featured in this little project of mine, in earlier posts. It is fun, it is creative and it is his so I like it!


This Families Music (MY DAD!)

To continue showing some of the different varieties of music in this family of mine I share with you something from my Dad.

Pause my music player. Sit back and relax. Take the time to listen with attentive ears to this little piece because it is important to my sisters and I. My Dad was moved in thought about us and wrote this in response. He wrote it to remind us he loves us and is thinking of us all. He wrote it to remind us that his father GOD loves us too. This is for me, this is for Casey, this is for Karla, this is for Kathleen and this is for Amber.


He Takes Me Dancing

Our night out at an Irish family social and Ceili Dance!

(The musicians of the evening. They played for hours! The flute based Irish music was much more genteel then the bagpipe tunes at the Scottish event we attended last.)

There are advantages to having a mix of heritages in ones back ground. I am most definitely from all of the members of the United Kingdom so I had little hesitation joining in at the Irish social put on this passed Friday in honor of St. Patrick’s Day.

I have to share with you Garnet and my impressions of the evening as it was a real adventure. We didn’t know a single person there. Joining in with an obviously cultural and community event was a bit nerve racking at first. The Irish are a warm people though and it didn’t take long for people to pick up conversations with us. I actually was recognized by one lady who had attended the Robbie Burns dinner as well and she was very happy to chat with me as she wasn’t a regular part of this community either.

(At one point in the evening a group of youngsters joined the band on stage to help with the celebration. It was priceless how into it the little ones where!)

What did we do? Well we found a seat with strangers and chatted with those around us. Got a beer and some Irish treats. The room was a buzz with live Irish music and the hum of conversation was almost a roar as the big hall filled to bursting, so in a way, Garnet and I had plenty of privacy to just enjoy one anothers conversation.

I was very eager to partake in the treats and beer prepared. We tried an Irish beer that was very fruity and light, thank goodness, no Guinness for this girl. It was very very frothy, not carbonated like the beers I am used to. My man has a humor all his own and explained straight faced to me ‘they like it frothy so they can get more out of their beer. They drink it up and then, while the froth is still on the beard, they shave and wring the beer back out of the collection of facial hair, back into the mug to enjoy.’ Oh dear… I laughed so hard… Guess that is why I married him, I like his jokes…

Got a plate full of Irish treats and had fun deciding what we thought of them. The potato bread was, potato-y and flat. The sausage roll was mellow in taste. The raisins scones, while mild as well, where slightly sweet and very fluffy so I enjoyed a few of them. Garnet teased that he figured out what the secret ingredient to authentic Irish cooking was… ‘nothing’ and the Irish girl in me chuckled, it is alright, at least it wasn’t so lingering on the pallet like the Scottish haggis.

(Before the music had even began, the dance floor was filled with prancing children.)

Garnet knew very well we where there mostly to try Ceili dancing (think Victorian community dancing in lines to Celtic music). It was so much fun and so much exercise! We all lined up and where given instructions then had to work as a whole group on the floor, moving down a line together with our partner and another new couple every few minutes. It involved sharing couples with strangers and I had to laugh when Garnet realised we where going to be holding hands with people we didn’t know at all. He gets so German at times like these!

One older woman we where dancing with took note of the contrast between my man (a Mr.Darcy when it comes to dance if you know what I mean) and my enthusiasm toward the whole event. She smiled and said to him (before bouncing away) ‘You aren’t much of a dancer are you?’ He just nodded to confirm. ‘Oh and you came for your wife, YOU DEAR THING!’

Garnet found his own way to enjoy the dancing as well and when ever we bounced into the little nine year old girls who had taught the dance (they are definitely professional Celtic dancers) he would point out errors in their dancing ‘Oh I don’t think you are doing that right.’ I smiled and rolled my eyes to help the girls understand he is only teasing and this made him grin for the first time since getting on the dance floor.

We had a grand new experience and finished the date off with coffee at a favorite cafe down the street, it always has live music on Fridays. There was a roots group playing to the stoic coffee loving patrons of the cafe and it was such a contrast from the lively and warm Irish celebration we had left.