Archive for February, 2011


My four year old and her girl friend are talking.
My girl says “My heart is not beeping.”
Her friend replies “My heart is still beeping.”

My girl “No, your heart gets beeping when you run fast so calm down and it will not beep.”



Daddy’s are supposed to last for ever.
They protect and instruct us.
They shape our understanding about our value and our beauty.
We are their daughters, we need our Dads.


My Quiche (Recipe Request)

This is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE quiche, make it often and have gotten very quick at it.

  • 1 (9 inch) deep dish pie crust (I have a chick pea flour crust I just love.)
  • 5 eggs
  • 1 cup organic coconut milk (organic because it is thicker)
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
  • 3 dashes hot pepper sauce, or to taste
  • 1 cup shredded old mozzarella cheese
  • 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
  • 1 can of crab meat
  • 2 green onions, chopped
  • 1/2 cup chopped greens (fresh herb mix or spinach)

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
  2. Make the crust and place in the greased pie plate (remember to puncture the crust with a fork too prevent too much crust shrinkage).
  3. In a large bowl, whisk together the eggs, coconut milk, salt, pepper, and hot sauce. Stir in cheese, onion, greens and crab. Pour into the pie shell.
  4. Sprinkle top with a little paprika to add color.
  5. Bake for 30-40 minutes in the preheated oven.
  6. Serve with a salad.


Grow Old With Me

Love in suffering proves it is a genuine love.The above picture is of my parents. Aren’t they just the sweetest couple? Their life together has been real. They have each suffered and sacrificed to be and stay together. A crazy love by today’s standard of love only when it is pleasant and provides pleasure for self. I examined some crazy love today… at the doctors office.I was sitting in an incredibly uncomfortable gray chair. This chair was all the more uncomfortable when 4:15 went by… my appointment time had been 3:15. To my right, up against the wall and right near the nursing station sat the first couple… they where very advanced in years. A nurse shouts out her name and the wife slowly got up with her walker then started toward the nurse. Her husband was have a real struggle getting up even with the aid of his walker. She stopped dead without looking back and asked him if he needed her. He looked a little embarrassed as she abandoned her walker and slowly came back to help. She smiled at him as she helped him up and they walked out of the room, her in the lead, both heavily relying on their walkers.

Another older couple enters the clinic. Both take off their shoes and the wife took her husbands hand for a momentary squeeze, let go and whispered, ‘Can you see me?’ He nodded yes and she started to walk away. She turned to check on him and said ‘Still see me? Follow me to a chair,’ then reached out, touched his arm and let go again. He followed, struggling not to run into people seated around him. When they finally found seats next to one another they where behind me. I glanced back and noted the comfort they found in being together, it was written all over their posture

The third older couple sat right across from me. He looked at her hand and gruffly said ‘it looks better today’. She smiled and agreed. He then in an even more gruff tone remarked ‘I will stay here when you are called.’ She asks him why? ‘I haven’t a clue what this appointment is all about or what is going on.” “Well, (she huffed) you shan’t learn a thing by sitting out here.” He huffed back and looked at his shoes “even so I am not coming.” She looked at him for a moment, with no signs of offense and told him that was alright. She knew something about him I didn’t… he wasn’t just grumpy and she knew that and so she let him be.This people watching episode had me weepy. I was thinking about my man, how it is going to be hard for each of us to go the distance but I so long to be old and grumpy with him and him alone. I hope we are a cute couple then, playfully grumpy mostly, helpful and still tenderly affectionate… and… I really hope he remembers me, ha ha ha, his memory is already poor.


Beyond Myself

In the moments of intense emotion how can we remember that it will be okay afterward? Beyond myself, as I fought, I heard a voice encourage me… do not sin in anger, you will not let this root deep… love, love, love… and I looked at the man that draws the most powerful emotions out of me; who pushes and yet holds me close in the strongest way I have ever experienced in the flesh and I see my best friend, my beau… that young gentle man I fell in love with, that young inexperienced, yet determined, dad that I fell more in love with, that spirit who is always growing in Christ whom I love beyond my own abilities to love… and I felt the calm in the midst of the storm… I love him, I forgave myself and I thanked the Holy Spirit for his still, small voice of reason and hope.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis


Valentines Again

I spent my Valentines evening with a girl friend. We both enjoy music and so we went to a performance by two local artists. I got a kick out of the looks I got when I told people I went out with a girlfriend instead of my man. I can be fine with him NOT being a holiday kinda guy and he can be fine with me going out that day, with out him:) You have to give marriages room to be different from what yours is and I am sure we are different in this area.

Oh truly enjoy local music and have great respect for local musicians! It is no easy thing to try to make it work in our province, perhaps even in our country. There is a wealth of great artists in our area but it seems to be really difficult to pack the house.

The audience was smaller but we where all really happy to hear them. To put it in my friends words ‘ Stellar heartwarming performance last night. You guys rocked Valentine’s for us. Thank you!’ One of my top life experiences is sitting in a cozy local haunt, listening to a singer song writer perform unplugged. Dim lights, great food and the essential good company of a friend or two.

Well my valentine, ‘C’, was grand company. Chatting, laughing, trying to finish a massive nacho platter together, frothy well brewed coffee and margarita Monday to boot!

Take the time to check out Jen Lane, link RIGHT HERE, and Smokekiller, linked RIGHT HERE. I have been singing along to my signed CD all day!

The Littlest Gentleman

They all get too big for me to be carrying regularly. My poor little men never like the learning curve involved in giving mommy a break. Both boys where BIG smugglers and thus I carried them through out the day while working, in order to get things done, well past there second birthdays. With my oldest I put my back out picking him up one day and that made the process of ‘cling-on independence training’ much more of a crash coarse. With Baby Boy I have been more willing to put up with pain as he is my last baby and I can’t help but want to encourage the luv bug stage to last with my little guys. With hip problems since my last childbirth I now have to admit it is time.

The process is cute really. Step one start talking to him about mommy’s need to stop carrying him so much because he is such a big boy now. Mommy must stop calling him baby and start encouraging him that being a big boy is so much better.

Finding new solutions to their snuggle needs is the big thing. With both trying to sit when ever he wants up and let him sit till he is done worked well. Baby Boy likes it when I will ask for a leg hug instead or get down to his level and let him hug my neck when ever he asks, squeezing till he is done. Extra time is given to him in the morning. Letting him climb into my arms and snuggle on the couch during an early morning nap will often meet his snug quota for the whole day.

Finally, in public my best solution has been ‘you can always hold my hand’ and he does! More then any of my other children he just loves to hold Mommy’s hand. This has become an at home solution too and I am back to one armed cleanup as my two and a half year old follows me around, holding my right hand.

He is getting over the angst that this stage first caused him and is actually a happier boy now. We both are seeing we get more real snuggles this way, it is far more affectionate then just carrying him 24/7. His maturity level has gone up in response to my encouraging him that he is now a big boy and he is becoming as sweet a gentleman as his older brother.

Like his brother he is starting to become very aware of my needs. He will ask if he hurt me when I do pick him up and he with stroke my hand when holding it. My boys are the first to notice a new necklace or outfit and to compliment me. I can’t tell you how fast my heart melts when my Baby Boy says ‘nice neckwace mama, preeeetttttyyyy.’ or when his big brother says ‘oh mom that is a really pretty shirt, is it new?’ I see some serious wife winning skills developing here!

As hard as it is for him, it has been hard for me to convince myself that it was time to stop calling him my baby. It is necessary as with every other opportunity a parent takes to teach their child to live independently of them. My reward is how much happier he is as his desire to be acknowledged as older is granted.

With that, as I changed Big Girl to Eldest Damsel this year; Baby Boy’s blog pet name will now be Little Gentleman.


My Artistic Side (eleven)

I listened to a speaker a while back and had used her idea to encourage a friend of mine to see herself as an artist and to enjoy her art, to engage her artistic side fearlessly… So easy to be generous to others in that way! The concept was we have all been taught to doubt our artistic side, to compare it and thus hide it… believing it never adds up too art. She believed it was healthy for EVERYONE to explore and enjoy their artistic side, to call it art and express it because that is part of being us.

(The producer.)

Garnet would never say it but I think he is finding me a bit on the ridiculous side. He is being very patient with me this time round, as I take my time warming up to the idea of being involved in music again. I don’t want to go for the mainstream feel so here is what I decided to do to get my feet wet again… hymns… we are going to work on the hymns I learned last year and started with one I know really really well to just get me going.

He put it up on his myspace and I guess that is when I became ridiculous. I asked him to leave it up for my mom and dad cuz I knew they would love it and not judge but then when I heard he shared it with a couple friends I insisted it COME DOWN. It’s nerves okay! I didn’t used to have them when it came to singing but I also always did it live and that seemed different… recording and hearing your own voice is kind of unnerving, I don’t think I have ever really listened to a recording of myself before.Anyhow, this is a project for my man and me. I really do love him and love doing this with him so here is the link to our first version of ‘Fairest Lord Jesus’. I am putting this subject under the label of romance because I am blessed to have a husband who encourages me to enjoy my artistic side and under my adventures because getting back into music is just that, a big adventure for me. I haven’t always been thankful for the pull at my heart to engage in artistic expression… it was often a stress to me because of low self esteem. Today, lately, I am honestly very thankful for my artistic side, just as I have been very thankful for others artistic sides for years.


Testify (Marriage Monday)

I have always attended church…was raised in a little conservative fellowship chapel. Made a commitment to follow Christ at 14 years of age and became part of a charismatic group. This choice was birthed out of years of emotional struggle and pain. A feeling of insecurity at home and at school left me feeling unhinged. The climax was when my Grandpa died. Living as a regular member of my culture held nothing for that volatile adolescent me… I wanted out and thank the Lord he found me before I completed my own solution.

Salvation was a choice of desperation… I felt I had no other choice at that point in life. Perhaps this is why I had no real idea what this choice really meant and for many years I mostly saw it throw selfish eyes… as if the relationship was for me and my benefit…Christ was a part of the puzzle and along for the ride…church was a place we where commanded to attended and might get a good high from…

I am now in a place where I question how much I have really counted the cost of following Jesus Christ. Have I really left it all to follow him and given up my self in true worship? Is he my life or just a piece? Do I invest in the body of Christ, The Church, or just attend a church?I am looking at breaking out of another cultural norm, feeling as if I need to go beyond the limits of comfort that the north American church has set for me… wanting more.

I found it strange to share my testimony at this time in my life, because in some ways I feel like I am at a point of greater transformation then when I said that initial prayer in tears. I used to go into great detail about the sad little me lead to Christ and the fire-y little me that followed the sinners prayer but now I am feeling like I must not allow myself to stay there. I am desiring more growth then I have thought necessary or possible for the last several years of my Christian walk.

I am truly thankful for the beautiful and the painful lessons that I have experienced. Wouldn’t trade in a single experience that has made me who I am today. Excited about what the future will hold. Desiring to grow in love always and I am seeking to live for Christ NOW.

LINKS to related posts RIGHT HERE and RIGHT HERE.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis