Archive for October, 2011


Pelagianism – denial of original sin and believes we go to go with our free will to gain salvation. There is no idea of saved by grace.

Semi pelagianism – accepts the concept of original sin but still maintains that man turns to God with own free will, not instigated by the Holy Spirit, as the beginning of the process of rebirth.

Arminianism – Christ died for all sinners, not only the elect. Our will works with God’s sovereignty and grace toward our salvation.

Calvinism – emphasising predestination, the sovereignty of God, the supreme authority of the Scriptures, and the irresistibility of grace.


Nuff Said :)

So I had a chat with Jesus yesterday. I had a chat about why I have been struggling in my prayer life… I kept it simple… and things are now on the up swing.

I had this desire, not completely wrong, to speak big beautiful words to him… to try to express in extreme poetry how much I adore him… so prayer became complicated… and then less often. I didn’t want to become religious about it but I swung too far the other way and started to neglect my side of the communication in this relationship. The silent treatment never helps a relationship so…

Lessons in prayer came my way from two unique women of the Lord.

Lady one leads the women’s study I go to each week. She is a gifted writer and a kind teacher. Each study she encourages us to keep our prayers simple. To not seek to impress or quote too much knowledge but to stay on topic. If the person wants prayer for health keep it simple, ‘Lord restore their health (nuff said)’. I have been listening to her advice for a year now and this last week I finally heard it… Oh thank you, study lady, for persevering in doing good… at just the right time your seeds are sprouting into something of harvest.

Lady two is a well known western Canadian folk/pop Christian musician who preached at our church Sunday past. She intertwined her message with her songs and so words of wisdom about prayer where knit to my soul as easily as songs and melodies are glued into my memory. We need to go to God in prayer persistently, HUNGRY and impoverished in spirit. Needing him daily to provide for our spirits, as the Israelites needed the manna daily in the dessert. Not binge eating and then skipping meals, but trusting him enough to seek out the six meals a day… an analogy for seeking him daily and not just BIG TIME now and then. We need to stop trying to do everything on our own strength. Looking to get just a pick me up or a lift from Christ isn’t living by his Spirit. If we can admit we are hungry and admit we are in need of him, as the poor of our cities are in need of food and generosity from others, we will receive.

So yesterday I explained to him why I had got overwhelmed with my own attempts at being an impressive prayer warrior. I told him in less words then that. I admitted my loneliness for him… my overwhelmed nature at trying to run things on my own… I let him into even my dark rooms of sin and trouble and I am praying again. Nuff said.


Autumn Whimsy

As I work hard at living in the moment, seizing the day if you will, I feel an improvement in my mothering. More patient, more attentive and especially more involved with my kids worlds.

Children find the whimsy in just about everything. By playing with them more outdoors I am becoming better at seeing each seasons whimsy. Autumn’s is not very difficult to spot, even for the most serious adults. Spring has only started to be delightful for me now that I invested in pock-a-dot rubber boots and get into the muck and water willingly with my kids. Winter takes effort, but once you are out and looking there is a very intense whimsy to be found. Sitting in snow banks silently, slide down hills screaming my head off and skating under the stars, all inspired by my children’s heart desires for winter fun, make the whimsy impossible to ignore. Summer has water, swimming! Summer’s whimsy is vibrant and requires sunglasses and sun screen to take without burning but it too is worth embracing like a child.

Back to autumn, for that is the season that is my NOW. The gold and red trees are warm romance to my eyes. The sun is kind and happy. The wind in nippy in only a playful way and we all get to wear scarves, little mittens and cozy but not too puffy jackets of leather and wool.

Two days ago I felt the urge to do window shopping on one of my cities old school streets that is crammed full of vehicles and people. It is a tight little street and with no indoor mall centers, so you must be a hearty sort to shop it in the winter months.

My littlest fellow and I picked up his Grandma and found our way to this street and into one of its sweet flower shops. After my sister and her daughter meet us we followed our noses to one of the oldest bakeries in the city. Meringues and cinnamon twists where devoured by all in the friendly fall sun, on a red city bench. We chatted, we ate, we people watched and then we moved on. There was hat shopping and dress gazing and mostly just looking. We where more tickled with our own little group then with the ‘stuff’ we looked at… it was about being with one another.

Down one side of the street we went till we where stopped by a cafe and their warm frothy espresso drinks. A seat by the window was perfect for our morning and its dedication to fall. Before our morning was done we found a jewelry store to explore. As I walked in I spotted two Victorian chairs that where oozing gentle fall inspiration. As I walked out I carried one of them and my sister, Mirelle, had the other chair. No jewelry for me, but, a taste of fall and Victorian times for my sitting room. We where more then chipper as we drove home with my van a little overly snug, thanks to the gold leaf cover chairs. Rosy cheeked little ones waved farewell to their Grandma as she was dropped off. Mirelle, the children and I headed home for tea time, a perfectly suited way to wrap up a fall walk.

I am so thankful for sunny fall days, for family time, for provision. I am so thankful for the maker of the seasons and the maker of all whimsy. Thank you Christ for all that my children teach me… reminding me of what I new when I was little like them.


Living Life With Umph!

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with you own life.” ~Galatians 6:4-5 (MSG)

We like to find distractions, escapism from our own lives, but there is greater benefit in being honest with ourselves. Honest about where we are and who we are and what we are called to right now. Checking into and investing into ones own life, with gusto, can be against our human nature and is a lot of work. If you aren’t willing to fight for the relationships in your life, the purpose in your life…. yourself…. who will?

While it takes time to prove that their is great gain in endurance and contentment it isn’t hard to see the consequences of not seeking this heart attitude. Take my life as an example. I know I am more then a mother, I have a complex collection of relationships that I should be sinking myself into, but I choose this calling as this posts example. Who would suffer if I became frustrated with it? It takes very little for me to become selfishly focused… to kick at my responsibilities, rebel against my reality… If I decide I am not going to live creatively as a wife and mother I am the only one who will be responsible for that waste of relationship and opportunity; but I will not suffer alone in my mistake… my children will not have a devoted and attentive mother, my husband will not have the gift I promised him in our vows, that gift being my heart.

Thankfulness is a gift from Christ and as we use it to give him his do it is also a gift back to him. His thankfulness is strength in our lives. It works like a medicine against the destructiveness of misguided focus, discontentment, frustration, and selfishness. A thankful heart will not be drawn into pity parties that result from comparing oneself to others. A thankful heart will find contentment with how life is, even when that seems unrealistic. A thankful heart can not ignore the beauty in our lives despite the intensity of life’s shadows. A thankful heart will be unafraid to examine ones self and ones work and will not be shy about diving into that with intense joy.

May I take the strength Christ offers me to live my life creatively and with umph!

P.s. Just had a day with no umph…where the house was a disaster AGAIN and the kids where climbing the walls; this following verse always encourages me in the calling over my life to love and serve my family.

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessings if we don’t give up.”
~Galatians 6:9


Victoria Awake

Hi readers:)
My brothers band is releasing their first full CD soon and could use some publicity.
They love CBC (a Canadian Radio Station) and if you
click THIS LINK and give the song a spin
you will help raise their profile!


Little Thankful Thoughts This Thanksgiving!

I feel like love and thankfulness are muscles, in a way, and we get better at them when we practice them even, and especially perhaps, under the weight of hard times.

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~G.K. Chesterton
I am often just thankful their isn’t another flu bug or cold in our house. I am more often thankful for the little people I call my babies. I have been thankful for Garnet since we met and I hope to learn more and more thankfulness toward MY JESUS as my life continues through what I would define as the good and the bad.


Me the Usher!

And I can now add usher to my resume (wink)! Being behind the scenes at a musical was a fun experience. Thanks to my sister I had an in to this cultured world! She was one of the nuns in this theatre groups last play, ‘The Sound Of Music’.

It felt strangely unreal for me as I sat stuffing programs. I realised I can romanticise just about anything! Here I was at the ground level of theatre culture and I had been swept into it so easily and unexpectedly. The offer came up and I grabbed it. The evenings work began and I seized the moment! I ate up every menial task! Starving artists remember their stuffing programs days, do they not? Not that I am a starving artist but I was peckish after stuffing and standing most of the evening.

The ushers leader was a feisty older woman who had a knack for being tough and hilarious all at once. I instantly liked her. When she handed me the flashlight and an usher name tag it all felt so official. I shall for ever look at ushers in a new light.

Perhaps a tad over zealously I threw myself into handing out the programs. A few times I offered the same people a second one and when I offered the stage manager one I almost laughed aloud. He looked so unimpressed with me and even huffed! His reaction make me giddy and I couldn’t help contemplating doing it again just to mess with him… but, after all, I thought better of it, I am not that brazen, I am a think and laugh at the thought kinda girl.

Seated at the back when the curtain went up, we ushers where removed in more ways then one from the actual audience. I felt set apart but also important, people asked me questions! We observed the play and the audience from a servants position.

At half time… oh theatre biz calls it intermission, my sister and I where placed at the main doors to do some bouncing… more correctly, to act as bouncers. No food or drink was to make its way in for the second act. We may have not been on stage last night but this was our opportunity to do a little acting. I don’t believe either of us are really bouncer types.

Even picking up bits of trash after the show was fun for me. This affirms I may have been over board with my enthusiasm. Above all else I felt very thrifty! It has been a goal of my sister and I, of late, to seek out clever thriftiness in life. To get into a show (we enjoy going to plays and musicals) for free by volunteering to usher was indeed cleverly thrifty!

Here’s to theatre! Here’s to being cleverly thrifty and here’s to new experiences!


When Embarrassment Is A Good Thing… (Just thinking about it.)

A little embarrassment goes a long way:) And I am not talking about the sting of it staying with you. It is strange how you can feel so very very flustered and embarrassed one moment and the next realise it was worth it. Taking ones self pride down a notch rarely is a negative.

Though we feel protected behind pride we are actually damaging ourselves, lock ourselves away from opportunities to love and be loved by others. Self pride is a wall that keeps us from getting beyond ourselves. To move beyond that wall and toward others we have to risk this thing we believe protects us.

The more that wall of pride comes down the more we see those around us clearly. We will value them more and interaction with others will lead to relationship.

Is that wall, that pride really worth being lonely? We lock out the risk but with it we also prevent relationship. If we are busy taking care of our pride we prevent others from getting to know us and often even prevent their love from reaching us.

Vulnerability leads to embarrassment, but as our pride wains our embarrassment over our own humanity will wain as well. Showing flaws, pains, true emotions and feelings for others will actually make us stronger then any wall of pride can. We will forever remain weak and vulnerable behind pride’s disguise.

I am thankful for embarrassments reminder that pride is not ever a decent replacement for love. Love makes me reflect on the truth that Christ is love incarnate.


A Maze

(Baby Boy and his cousin roaring through the maze.)

I meet up with family at the local straw maze. It was a lovely morning full of fun and just TIME with one another.)

The children found the maze wonderfully mysterious because of their small stature. It meant they couldn’t see over the top of the walls. Hunkering down I was able to identify with their perspective. It was easy for me because of my height. I could find the end long before I was actually there. The children in the maze didn’t have this aerial view advantage.

One little girl panicked when she couldn’t see her parents. They where only a few feet away but a wall that she couldn’t see over was between them and she just wasn’t sure which way to go to find them. With almost terror in her voice she screamed continually ‘MOMMY! MOMMY!’ not hearing her Dad return her call until he reached over and touched her from the other side of a straw bale.

I still feel like that girl some times. Even as an adult there are walls that block vision… my way out of problems and I can sometimes get pretty panic-y. Everyone wants to know the way out as soon as they feel like they just can’t find it. Fear, frustration, anger can all kick in, and quickly. I hope as I get older I will practice more the understanding that seeing isn’t the only way to find your way out. Sometimes taking a few steps will lead you in the right direction. Other times being patient and standing still is the best way to avoid panic; who knows, a hero or an idea might just present itself.

I am thankful for who I trust in and I am thankful Christ will reach over and touch me in a reassuring way even when I am too panic-y to realise how very very close he already is.