All posts in My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME

Lymph Node Infection

by admin on May 17, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME, People In My Heart with 1 Comment

I had barely gotten home when I was in another whorl wind… of the sick child kind. Baby Boy had developed a lymph node infection and although they are nasty to look at (swollen neck) they aren’t usually dangerous.

He had been put on antibiotics (heavy i.v. doses each day) and I was told he would be fine. Well keeping the i.v. in was hard for my man while I was gone and eventually they decided they should drain it to make sure it heals faster.

We where off to the hospital for a 13 hour wait for the surgery and eventually it happened at around eleven in the evening. He did fine going in and the surgery was quick but he was a furious mess waking up from being put under. The two nurses couldn’t handle him physically and so we decided to just take him home before he was completely with it again. He calmed down as soon as we left.

Days of almost no sleep and no eating followed. We found he was having fever and stomach pain from the antibiotics he was still on so the surgeon let us take him off (they where just a precaution thing once the surgery took place). He was very soon happy and eating after that.

The gauze and i.v. where finally gone on Thursday and he has been happier by the day. Although the lump is still there (will take a few weeks to go down) he is back to being a trouble maker.

I guess this is unexplainable kinda thing and although doctors see it a lot it doesn’t happen to kids a lot or repeat with a child, of that I am thankful.

I have been making a real effort to not get overly stressed lately. Before my trip I was having lots of physical pain due to stress and I knew something had to give so I hope it is my pride that has broke and I can continue to give it all to Jesus. I feel like a lot of stuff has been crashing in lately but I am full of hope that I am no longer sinking.

So I am hoping things will be happy and calm around here again soon. We are having beautiful weather and so I am spending lots of time outside. Today it will be HOT so Baby Boy, Little Woman and I are going to go do some yard work before it is unbearable.

TTFN

Romans 12:18

by admin on May 1, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME, People In My Heart with No comments
If it be possible, as much as in you lieth, be at peace with all men.

Time and time again Christ reminds me that he is my reputations protector and that I can’t control how people feel about me. There comes a point where obedience to Christ must come before pleasing men.

It is hard for me to swallow this… I hate to fail people or to have them feel I failed them, especially when I love them so much… I have learned pleasing people often becomes dangerously close to an idol in my life… and I need to put Christ ahead of that too! I also know this will be a process for me but if I really love others I will never again put their relationship with me ahead of my Lord, for their sake and for mine…

Even today the above verse came to mind as a wound threatened to burst. I used to see it as a further reminder that I must be doing something wrong because there are some who just aren’t happy with me but then my man reminded me about the ‘as much as in you lieth.’ I see that if I find peace with people that is what lies with me…to find the peace and hold onto it. Even if their anger remains I can’t control it but instead must love that person enough to take it all to the feet of Christ for I can trust my friend in his care… May my sorrow at the remaining anger not affect my response to them when they in turn find Jesus Christ’s healing. Love hopes.

TTFN

Dad’s Cancer

by admin on April 29, 2010 in My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME, People In My Heart with No comments

Just to update, for those of you praying for our family in this area, my dad’s surgery went really well but we found out recently that the cancer has spread. He will be coming down in a couple weeks for a scan to see how much and where it has spread. Radiation is now on the table as a possible treatment but we don’t know anything else for now.

TTFN

Laughing at Myself and Crying Over Myself

by admin on April 19, 2010 in Better Check Out Links, Bits Of My Personality, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME with No comments

Can you do both at the same time? Yup. Often happens when you take a good look at yourself. Was contemplating the concept ‘working out your salvation with fear and trembling’ and it brought me back, back to the last time I deeply considered that verse and considered the need I had for a good heart spring cleaning.

If there had been room I would have also added to the above title “And A Blast From The Not So Distant Past” because I realised some of the same old stuff was cluttering up my heart.

Wow I was wondering why I had been feeling so dark lately and it hit me that I am still a person who fears change greatly when it relates to relationships. Change in relationships often means FAILURE to me… I greatly fear letting people down and hurting them!

I thank God that he lead me to a post I made during a moment of awakening about this very same fear of mine.

~Esther de Waal in To Pause at the Threshold: Reflections on Living on the Border
“There comes a time when the things that were undoubtedly good and right in the past must be left behind, for there is always the danger that they might hinder us from moving forward and connecting with the one necessary thing, Christ himself.”

I am praying for a soft and loving heart toward what ever Christ has planned this time… praying I will not fight it but will trust my Lord.

P.s. This song has been following me around and I finally found out who it is (kept hearing it on the radio) playing it… if you have the time check out Sanctus Real and their song Whatever You’re Doing, it is amazingly reflective of how I am feeling.

TTFN

Psalm 84:3-4

by admin on April 14, 2010 in My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME with No comments

“Even the sparrow finds a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may lay her young,
at your altars O Lord of hosts,
my King and my God.
Happy are those who live in your house,
ever singing your praise.”

TTFN

Your Life

by admin on April 13, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, My Listening Year, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME with No comments
“This is your life, Treat yourself right, Treat others right, Do what you know you should.” ~Newsboys

When I first started blogging the only alone time I got was in the van driving my oldest back and forth to school and so I had named the spiritual part of my blog ‘Van Visions’. Of late I find I am not able to find spiritual alone time in my own home. I am not comfortable with seeking my Jesus out there. I don’t know exactly why, I am sure this is just a season, but the point is I am again very thankful for ‘Van Visions’. Jesus knows how to speak to me where I am at and lately that seems to be in the vehicle again.
When in a storm I often feel selfish and then tend to deal with that by self punishment… it doesn’t work. I quickly forget how others see me and assume they see me as my internal dialogue says. It is ironically very very self focused, this kind of depression… Trying to snap myself out of selfishness alone often leads to more selfishness…

It seems totally wrong to have the approach of ‘treat yourself right’ at times like this in my life and yet that is what Christ keeps whispering to me. We are no good to anyone if we are not good to ourselves.

Learning to make alone time, give yourself breaks… Learning to stop obsessing about mistakes and character flaws will allow one to focus on things beyond them self… others beyond them self… Jesus.

I think I could get more time in then just the drives around the city… I think I assume I need to put off alone time and after a while when I have gone without I run from it… But I need to treat myself right and spend time with my Jesus.

LUKE 5:16
So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed.

MARK 1:35-37
Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.

TTFN

Hope For Me…

by admin on April 13, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Music Flavor, My Listening Year, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME with No comments
Deeply thankful for hearing…
There are some of us who are easily forgotten, easily unseen, invisible…
Gnawing fears come from this state and can eat a person alive.
There are some of us who will be consumed by the fears and will turn into people we where not meant to be… people with out hope for themselves.
There are some of us who will be rescued before it is to late and will be told ‘there is hope for you yet’, whether we deserve it or not…

There are some of us who will continually meet our same old enemy over and over again…
Gnawing fear will lurk and every now and then drag a person down again.
There are some of us who are stormy souls by nature, battling more with themselves then with anything else, easily deceived about who they are, easily blinded about who they can be.
There are some of us who will pull back because of lack of trust and will always risk letting fear get too strong a hold…

Even so…

There is hope for me yet…

Jesus remembers the forgettable, he sees the invisible.

Deterred by a great distances? Not our God.
Overwhelmed by our issues? Not our God.
Disappointed in our personalities? Not our God.

Moved with love for us always? OUR GOD!

“There is hope for me yet
Because God wont forget
all the plans he’s made for me.
I have to wait and see.
He’s not finished with me yet.

STILL WONDERING WHY I’M HERE
STILL WRESTLING WITH MY FEAR
BUT OH HE’S UP TO SOMETHING!
And the farther on I go
 I’ve seen enough to know
That I’m, not here for nothing
 He’s up to something!”
~Brandon Heath

TTFN

Dancing Shoes

by admin on April 10, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Mama Heart Mushings, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME, People In My Heart with No comments
(These beautiful shoes are on the feet of my beautiful youngest daughter. She was just given them by a family friend and now lives in them, I can’t blame her!)

Whoop, what happened? Well I tried to neglect everything this week and not let myself get worked up but my body let me know I was stressed after all and I get it…

I was amazed at all the stuff that hit me as I struggled to deal with my Dad’s life being vulnerable. I am amazed at how little emotion I showed through it all… most of it was anger about other stuff as I crushed the tears down… cuz I was supposed to.

Now that the surgery is over and for now he is getting better and better I am kinda ticked that I wasn’t allowed to just be worried and sad and get on with it… lesson learned…

As I listened to my eldest sing to her little sister and brother today, and watched them dance to her impromptu song, I realized I want to put on my dancing shoes again too. I only seem to find them with God. I only know how to dance with him at the lead.

Go ahead Big Girl, sing that endless song of yours because it is coming from your pretty heart.
Go ahead and tap tap tap in your new pink shoes Little Woman because life joy like that is too precious.
Go ahead Baby Boy and copy your sisters dance, you understand that passionate joyfulness is contagious.

None of you know the stifling rules of adulthood yet and so I am thankful.

TTFN

Marriage Monday

by admin on April 5, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Marriage Monday, My Romance, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME with 14 Comments

It is a pick your own topic month. Anything relating to marriage and Christ I suppose.

is a favorite song of mine.
When it gets tough I often reflect on her words of wisdom.

“Loving a person just the way they are, its no small thing, its the whole thing.“

Often spouses are opposites… my man and I are, personality wise, very much opposites. I think one of the greatest things Garnet does for me is he loves me in spite of how hard my personality can make that. I hope and pray I do the same for him:)

True romance…

I am a stormy emotional personality. I prefer to get angry over getting sad, it is my protective wall if I am feeling sorrow or pain… I act like a prickly pear when I need a hug the most… He doesn’t understand this but as we continue to get to know one another better he doesn’t let it get to him as much and reaches out to me in spite of myself. I am so thankful for his ability to yank me away from depression because there are things about myself that I used to fear, sometimes momentarily still do, and he (through Christ that strengthens him) doesn’t fear them.

We talked for hours when dating and still do when the kids give us the chance. Our personalities could really limit our growth as a couple because we see things and do things so differently but I thank the Lord that he has blessed us with the patience to talk it out. We deliberately try to learn how one another works and thinks and I believe the Lord gives us more insight then we would have on our own, in times of trying and need.

My Mom told me at a young age that you can’t spend your life trying to change a man, specifically your man because only God can do that. I am thankful for the grace and patience that the Lord can give a marriage so that two conflicting personalities can connect and love and respect one another for their differences.

Perfect example in closing… my husband smirks and laughs when he is nervous… this used to make me so upset and hurt when young because I would be upset about something and he would giggle. Now I usually can’t help but smirk too, knowing he reacts this way because he does understand I am upset, this is just how he handles it. I can tell you from experience, just getting more angry doesn’t make the smirking and snickering go away once it has started…

Pray that the Lord will give you and your man HIS eyes for one another so you can love your husband just the way he is and he can do the same for you:) Thank the Lord that he knows you and your spouses faults and is more then able to deal with these faults and shortcomings and can change them for the better!

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis

Want this button?

TTFN

Easter

by admin on April 5, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Holiday Messages, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME with 1 Comment

Well… Garnet and I aren’t the type who go all out for holidays. We try to make them sweet and special for the kids but in our hearts we are just the kind of people who aren’t big on dates.

Easter… I stood in isles of chocolates and spring colored STUFF yesterday till I got a headache. I then went and found some fair trade chocolates at another location and ‘sigh’ that was enough for me. I find a lot of it ways heavy on me. This makes me all the more thankful that the kids get to enjoy the run around hunt in there grandparents back yard and the treats once in the house, the beautiful ham their grandmother loving made them and the pretty dresses and handsome spring colored outfits they get to wear all day without the heaviness of understanding that a parent feels as they wade through the commercialization of it all.

Easter aside, I love Jesus. My chest feels heavy with emotion as I consider what he did on the cross and the heaviness lifts as soon as I think of him lifting forth from the grave three days later.

As I walk through this year, having felt it was labeled ‘Right Sacrifice’, I am aware of the importance of reflecting on the cross. I am also a bit surprised that this time of year didn’t jump out more at me because of my years label but I think this will make me reflect all the more the rest of the year and grow in thankfulness, all the more, for Jesus and his PERFECT example of sacrifice.

Garnet and I sat the kids down today, before we went off to our entertaining Easter events, and we told them a little about what we think of when Easter arrives, meaning we told them a little about our Jesus. I hope seeds of love where planted that will spring forth in time.

Happy Easter, have a lovely spring:)

TTFN

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