All posts in Marriage Monday

Sacred Commitment (Marriage Monday)

by admin on October 4, 2010 in Marriage Monday, My Romance with 5 Comments
Making a sacred commitment, the marriage commitment, is fun and freeing.

Now don’t get me wrong, it is also very sacred in our eyes, so sacred that we have done it twice, meaning we have renewed our vows. My husband teases that he now has two sacred vows with the same woman and that is pretty scary. Click on the previous highlighted text to link to the post on our second ceremony.

It is pretty easy to remember how deep and complicated and important such a commitment is, especially when you where raised as my husband and I where. We saw it all the more soberly when we where younger and the marriage was new. We had a deep understanding going into it that this was a big deal, in the eyes of God we would forever be one. As we age together we rely more on the joy of the Lord to get us through together, rather then a somber determined mind.

So little is said about the not so serious side of commitment. The beauty involved in the fun. It is fun to live with my best friend and to know I got him FOREVER. It is freeing to not have the weight of dating and complex relationships on us anymore. We plan to have a big party every ten years to force us to remember how wonderfully fun it is to be committed to one another. Next party we hope to rent a ball room, chamber orchestra and have an old fashioned ball. Dancing lessons are much needed for my man and I first but, after all, we have almost ten years to plan for it.

It is so much easier to accepting the sacred commitment when you embrace the fun and freedom in it. The freedom is a gift to married couples. So don’t act like you think a married couple is supposed to act and instead have fun together, be friends, push one another to enjoy new experiences, spur one another on to stay young at heart and laugh together more.

The joy of the Lord is my marriages strength.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

Sacred Commitment (Marriage Monday)

by admin on October 3, 2010 in Marriage Monday, My Romance with No comments
Making a sacred commitment, the marriage commitment, is fun and freeing.

Now don’t get me wrong, it is also very sacred in our eyes, so sacred that we have done it twice, meaning we have renewed our vows. My husband teases that he now has two sacred vows with the same woman and that is pretty scary. Click on the previous highlighted text to link to the post on our second ceremony.

It is pretty easy to remember how deep and complicated and important such a commitment is, especially when you where raised as my husband and I where. We saw it all the more soberly when we where younger and the marriage was new. We had a deep understanding going into it that this was a big deal, in the eyes of God we would forever be one. As we age together we rely more on the joy of the Lord to get us through together, rather then a somber determined mind.

So little is said about the not so serious side of commitment. The beauty involved in the fun. It is fun to live with my best friend and to know I got him FOREVER. It is freeing to not have the weight of dating and complex relationships on us anymore. We plan to have a big party every ten years to force us to remember how wonderfully fun it is to be committed to one another. Next party we hope to rent a ball room, chamber orchestra and have an old fashioned ball. Dancing lessons are much needed for my man and I first but, after all, we have almost ten years to plan for it.

It is so much easier to accepting the sacred commitment when you embrace the fun and freedom in it. The freedom is a gift to married couples. So don’t act like you think a married couple is supposed to act and instead have fun together, be friends, push one another to enjoy new experiences, spur one another on to stay young at heart and laugh together more.

The joy of the Lord is my marriages strength.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

Killer Time Management for Busy Families (Marriage Mondays)

by admin on September 13, 2010 in Better Check Out Blogs, Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Marriage Monday with 9 Comments

Do less…
I picked this topic out of the choices given because it has been specifically something I am working through of late. With school starting up again everything else kicks in to gear; church and social opportunities as well as activities for the kids and the parents. I was full of anxiety as time eaters invaded my schedule. There was going to be no time for mistakes, the little things, LIFE…

As a single income family of six in the city I find we struggle with the temptation to try to keep up with the culture around us. Financial damage is NOT worth taking on in order to put ourselves out there more. Family time equals family health and this highly valuable commodity must be fought for now a days. Personally I just can’t take a crazy pace either. It quickly becomes to much for me and I hate missing the moment while I rush to another moment. Time is so precious and so easily taken away from a family.

Less in more in my world… The simple life is to be sought… Over and over we must remember it isn’t the rat race we want to join but the race that Paul talks about, that race to the finish line, that race with Jesus.

With all these things heavy on our hearts my husband and I chose this year to do less then others expect of us. It isn’t easy and goes against the energy outside our front door, the cultural mind set that pushes and pulls with its demands on a family. Our main activity this year is to seek out more time to be, time to be for all six members of the family.

TIME, handle with care!

P.S. Check out this link to a post I put up in the middle of our amazing summer, it relates, and is about all the fun to be had when you have an abundance of time to do nothing really!

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

Killer Time Management for Busy Families (Marriage Mondays)

by admin on September 7, 2010 in Better Check Out Blogs, Bits Of My Personality, Do I Call It Parenting Advice?, Marriage Monday with No comments

Do less…
I picked this topic out of the choices given because it has been specifically something I am working through of late. With school starting up again everything else kicks in to gear; church and social opportunities as well as activities for the kids and the parents. I was full of anxiety as time eaters invaded my schedule. There was going to be no time for mistakes, the little things, LIFE…

As a single income family of six in the city I find we struggle with the temptation to try to keep up with the culture around us. Financial damage is NOT worth taking on in order to put ourselves out there more. Family time equals family health and this highly valuable commodity must be fought for now a days. Personally I just can’t take a crazy pace either. It quickly becomes to much for me and I hate missing the moment while I rush to another moment. Time is so precious and so easily taken away from a family.

Less in more in my world… The simple life is to be sought… Over and over we must remember it isn’t the rat race we want to join but the race that Paul talks about, that race to the finish line, that race with Jesus.

With all these things heavy on our hearts my husband and I chose this year to do less then others expect of us. It isn’t easy and goes against the energy outside our front door, the cultural mind set that pushes and pulls with its demands on a family. Our main activity this year is to seek out more time to be, time to be for all six members of the family.

TIME, handle with care!

P.S. Check out this link to a post I put up in the middle of our amazing summer, it relates, and is about all the fun to be had when you have an abundance of time to do nothing really!

TTFN

Long-Distance Grand-parenting: What Works for Us

by admin on July 12, 2010 in Marriage Monday, People In My Heart with 8 Comments
Marriage Monday!
Long distance Grand-parenting was NEVER my hope or plan. To this day it is NOT my ideal. For the first five years of being parents we had no grandparents close by. One set was 6 hours north and the other 4 hours south. Everyone needs support and naturally grandparents often fill that role but we became very good at finding and building family relationships with friends in our community so we had physical support. That is what is really missing when grand folks aren’t near by, physical support… thanks to phones and prayer they can still be spiritual and emotional support. We watched other families with their parents involved often daily and we wished for it terribly. We saw the benefits and they who had it often just shared the negatives… the risk of being too involved in one anothers lives I guess was the big one.

We are in a different place now and have grand folks very very close by (blocks away). My husbands mom and dad are readily available and we see the difference it makes in our kids (all good) and the security it adds to our families life.

We have both situations… My parents are still long distance grand parents and that can be hard since parents are very important to a daughter who is now a mom. Seeing this as the way it shall be we have worked at finding things that work. Husband and wife have to get on the same page and decide to make LOTS of effort where the distant grandparents are concerned.

1.

We try to always have our doors open for them. We might not have a perfect set up for guests but we try really really hard to make it work when they need us because we wanted to seize every opportunity of time together with them.
2.
Try to find the money to visit them! Going their way is a good idea! The kids find it magical to visit their far off grandparents and so planning trips well in advance to make it happen is important (even if not easy).
3.
Find a regular story telling service. I BLOG! I have a private family newsletter where I try to put lots of pictures up and lots of info on us as we grow and change as a family. It is excellent for my folks. Phone plans help too! This way the kids can talk with their grandparents and build relationship that way!
4.
Find the time to tell your kids stories about the long distant grand folks. Talk about visits past and future and just tell them about their grandparents lots.
5.
Pray. Prayer bridges the gap a lot. When lonely, when impatient… when ever you need you can pray for your folks and knowing mine pray for us regularly too is a big deal.

I still feel that distance with family really does mean everyone misses out but like many non-ideal parts of this life you have to make it work.

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

“Our Honeymoon: Enough Memories to Last a Lifetime.” MARRIAGE MONDAY

by admin on June 7, 2010 in Marriage Monday, My Romance with 6 Comments
(June 2000)

Our tenth anniversary is only days away:)

Both having just graduated from college we kept everything about our wedding and honeymoon simple. The lodge we stayed at was only a few miles down the road from my parents farm, where we had gotten married. It was affordable and pretty. We stayed in a sweet little log cabin, complete with deck, kitchen and a lovely stove to snuggle up in front of. The cabin was part of a large wood lodge over looking a lake. Perfect for me because I was to immediately say good bye to all things north and move south with my man after the honeymoon.

The best and worst thing about the honeymoon was that it rained all three days we where there so we mostly sat in the cabin or visited the lodge to dine there. Lovely because it forced us to have lots and lots of talking and alone time… not so lovely because if we would have stayed longer we would have been bored to tears.

I highly recommend to young couples, like we where, to plan a simple get away that leaves lots of down time for you! It is better to not add opportunity to get more stressed. Being in a hurry is no good because patience on a honeymoon, to start the marriage off right, is a real good beginning. Don’t rush through the honeymoon and take the opportunity to start the communication habit in your marriage right then and there.

(So young, marriage was so new… He was 21 and I was 19.)

Remember you and your man being together is the most important part of the trip so cut yourself lots of slack if you are broke like we where and have to keep it simple. There will be time in the future to enjoy fancier things together! We hope to find more opportunities for honeymoon type trips in the years to come. Something more extravagant would now be our style and a cross country train trip would be tops on my list, just me and my man!

First Monday of every month at Chrysalis

TTFN

“Our Honeymoon: Enough Memories to Last a Lifetime.” MARRIAGE MONDAY

by admin on June 5, 2010 in Marriage Monday, My Romance with No comments
(June 2000)

Our tenth anniversary is only days away:)

Both having just graduated from college we kept everything about our wedding and honeymoon simple. The lodge we stayed at was only a few miles down the road from my parents farm, where we had gotten married. It was affordable and pretty. We stayed in a sweet little log cabin, complete with deck, kitchen and a lovely stove to snuggle up in front of. The cabin was part of a large wood lodge over looking a lake. Perfect for me because I was to immediately say good bye to all things north and move south with my man after the honeymoon.

The best and worst thing about the honeymoon was that it rained all three days we where there so we mostly sat in the cabin or visited the lodge to dine there. Lovely because it forced us to have lots and lots of talking and alone time… not so lovely because if we would have stayed longer we would have been bored to tears.

I highly recommend to young couples, like we where, to plan a simple get away that leaves lots of down time for you! It is better to not add opportunity to get more stressed. Being in a hurry is no good because patience on a honeymoon, to start the marriage off right, is a real good beginning. Don’t rush through the honeymoon and take the opportunity to start the communication habit in your marriage right then and there.

Remember you and your man being together is the most important part of the trip so cut yourself lots of slack if you are broke like we where and have to keep it simple. There will be time in the future to enjoy fancier things together! We hope to find more opportunities for honeymoon type trips in the years to come. Something more extravagant would now be our style and a cross country train trip would be tops on my list, just me and my man!

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
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Marriage Monday: Why Wives Need Loving Conversation First

by admin on May 4, 2010 in Marriage Monday, My Romance with 5 Comments
(My Garnet and I, taken weeks before our marriage and now
we are only weeks away from 10 married years together.)

ROMANCE~Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love:

I think women need the extra attention and effort of loving conversation before intimacy because everything in our minds is connected and if are going to switch from multitasking to only him tasking we need some leading down that one lane road.

Talking helped me the most when I was fatigued in the midst of four pregnancies and babies. Talking about it helped me remember it… it was my needed moment to reach the ‘HELLO HUSBAND!” moment.

Call to me sweetly,
whisper sweet nothings to me…
if for no other reason then simple to shut the rest of my mind off;)

That is my little bit!

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis

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Marriage Monday

by admin on April 5, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Marriage Monday, My Romance, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME with 14 Comments

It is a pick your own topic month. Anything relating to marriage and Christ I suppose.

is a favorite song of mine.
When it gets tough I often reflect on her words of wisdom.

“Loving a person just the way they are, its no small thing, its the whole thing.“

Often spouses are opposites… my man and I are, personality wise, very much opposites. I think one of the greatest things Garnet does for me is he loves me in spite of how hard my personality can make that. I hope and pray I do the same for him:)

True romance…

I am a stormy emotional personality. I prefer to get angry over getting sad, it is my protective wall if I am feeling sorrow or pain… I act like a prickly pear when I need a hug the most… He doesn’t understand this but as we continue to get to know one another better he doesn’t let it get to him as much and reaches out to me in spite of myself. I am so thankful for his ability to yank me away from depression because there are things about myself that I used to fear, sometimes momentarily still do, and he (through Christ that strengthens him) doesn’t fear them.

We talked for hours when dating and still do when the kids give us the chance. Our personalities could really limit our growth as a couple because we see things and do things so differently but I thank the Lord that he has blessed us with the patience to talk it out. We deliberately try to learn how one another works and thinks and I believe the Lord gives us more insight then we would have on our own, in times of trying and need.

My Mom told me at a young age that you can’t spend your life trying to change a man, specifically your man because only God can do that. I am thankful for the grace and patience that the Lord can give a marriage so that two conflicting personalities can connect and love and respect one another for their differences.

Perfect example in closing… my husband smirks and laughs when he is nervous… this used to make me so upset and hurt when young because I would be upset about something and he would giggle. Now I usually can’t help but smirk too, knowing he reacts this way because he does understand I am upset, this is just how he handles it. I can tell you from experience, just getting more angry doesn’t make the smirking and snickering go away once it has started…

Pray that the Lord will give you and your man HIS eyes for one another so you can love your husband just the way he is and he can do the same for you:) Thank the Lord that he knows you and your spouses faults and is more then able to deal with these faults and shortcomings and can change them for the better!

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis

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PRAYER IN MARRIAGE (It Connects Us)

by admin on March 2, 2010 in Marriage Monday, My Romance, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME with 10 Comments
I wasn’t going to post for this months topic… I knew it would be more of a time of self examination and confession in this area.

I decided to go on with it and here is what came…

Prayer in our marriage has had its up and downs.

We started out, as young newly weds, with a plan to pray together every night but often as we went through problems that pulled us apart the praying together suffered too…

We have both changed so much that our prayer together has changes as well. When we first prayed together I was the charismatic Christian who prayed the loudest and in different forms and my humble husband prayed with a raw heart… now I am quiet when we pray together… I struggle to pray aloud with him and I don’t know why. He is so bold now, so strong and so wonderful to listen to.

I know we both pray for one another regularly and wrap our hard times in prayer for protection over our marriage but it is no longer a regular together thing for us.

HOWEVER, prayer is powerful in our lives and our life together (God uses it to connect us).

I will share this story to show hope is not dead and we will figure it out and I trust I will find my prayer voice in front of my husband once again.

(Story taken from a previous post on my old blog http://beckysmeanderingriver.blogspot.com/)

I struggled to hold on to my third pregnancy… I became too weak to pray, a scary and low position to be in.

I caught two stomach flu’s in a row and had a sever sinus infection on top of that, which left me unable to keep food down. I lost ten pounds a month in my first few months of pregnancy.
In my lowest point I was unable to get off the couch. My mother had to come stay with us so the kids would be taken care of when my husband was at work. All I could do was sleep. I was too sick to even talk much.
One night I lay alone on the couch after my family had gone to bed. I felt awful and totally alone and helpless… In my heart I desired to pray but was so tired. All I could do was cry and whisper, “Help me Jesus… please…”
All of a sudden my husband came bounding up the stairs. I love him dearly but I know he hadn’t realised how sick I was until this moment. He said he was trying to sleep but every time he closed his eyes he saw me crying out to Christ for help and he knew the Lord wanted him to understand how I was feeling because I was to ill to communicate it myself. We sat there and he held me and I wept…
WOW, whenever I recall this night I remember how loved I felt at that moment. It was such a real and personal way the Lord showed his love to me. He knew Garnet and I where limited by our male and femaleness and didn’t always communicate effectively so he stepped in to communicate to my man in a way that he would understand… I felt totally surrounded by love… the love of my husband and the LOVE OF MY GOD.

I am laughing about that situation in one regard now; it seems funny that we needed divine intervention in our marital communication skills:)

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis
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