All posts in Bits Of My Personality

Reboot

by admin on March 29, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Domestic Damsel, People In My Heart with 1 Comment
(Work apron found and at the same time encouragement and inspiration for this house wife!)

Not to side track to much but I must gush about my three new work aprons. Each is an adorable funky pattern, with big pockets and is small in size (sits just around the hips). After watching my kids kindergarten teacher using them for years I had to find some. Turns out they are called gardening aprons but are perfect work aprons for around the house and yard. This Mama is ready for anything with the cordless phone in one pocket, the camera and TV remote in the other and Kleenex in the middle one. I happily put on my housewife professional attire each morning now and just feel like getting going!

Two weeks ago I was immersed in spring cleaning, energized by it and going full speed happily ahead. Last week regular life was mostly put on hold while BIG STUFF collided with every day stuff and I had to try and soak it all up or take it all in.

The bread supply is nil, the family menu plan out of control and the laundry is nightmarish in size. I am at the point that I feel like I could manage all the big stuff better if I could just reboot the family schedule and get back to basics for a bit.

Weekend over, big kids and husband back on schedule so now it is up to me and the babies to get it all together. I need to digest more thoughts and feel like running my home better this week will aid greatly in that process too.

Everyone is asking me what I think of it all already and I don’t know what to say yet so I try to say what I should and get on with it. For those who don’t know, I am referring to the addition of two long lost beautiful sisters to my side of the family but also to a worrisome diagnosis of my Dads. The sisters weight is joyful on my heart but complicated in its excitement… but at the same time my Dad’s cancer diagnosis and surgery is a real concern on my heart and that concern is ONLY HUMAN!

Laundry humming away in the machines down stairs sounds good to me right now, the baskets full of more to fold look inviting and the bread will be such a lovely anticipation to add to my day if I can just get the batch started! My plan is to simplify this week and be a dutiful housewife so I fell better about life!

Goals for the week (in no real order):

  • Back to daily devotions each morning and praying with the kids before they head off to school.
  • Stay home lots thus saying no to too much extra activities this week even if they are good things!
  • Family meeting at least once this week.
  • Back on the keeping track of the kids allowance bandwagon.
  • Catch up on house keeping.
  • Play lots with the kids outside just in the yard.
  • Finish reading the final book in the ‘King Raven’ series.
  • Avoid grocery shopping.
  • Perfect and rescue my menu planning system.
  • Make the beds each day.
  • Nap in sun beams each afternoon.

P.s. I am a good Mama… I am a dutiful scheduler because it makes my family happy but every good Mama has to deal with the unpredictability of life and the storms… then every good Mama has to pick up the scattered pieces of a family schedule now and then. I know I am a good Mama BECAUSE I desire to carry on and clean up that mess…

TTFN

From Aunt Ruth

by admin on March 25, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Life Keeps Changing, People In My Heart with No comments

Years ago my pen pal, who is also my great great aunt (yes she is my grandmothers auntie so two greats for me), sent me these slippers in an envelope. She always found ways to send me little gifts in an envelope to save on package posting. They where a birthday gift from her and hand made.

It is amazing how something old can become new again…

I am an organizer, I hate excess and regularly clear out things that haven’t been used often or lately but for some reason every time I found these slippers in my sock drawer I would smile and put them back. I got them when I was a teen and never used them. I used to have such warm feet that slippers weren’t something I ever could stand wearing. The slippers waiting in the corner of my sock drawer and things changed.

My feet get so chilled now… Today I put on my leopard print slippers… after a few minutes I got too hot in them and my mind jumped to the corner of the sock drawer and I went and found these long lost slippers from my aunt Ruth. They used to be yellow but the yarn has turned more cream in color, but other then that they have gone unused and so are in great shape. Unlike my other slippers they are well aerated and so I don’t sweat in them. They are definitely slippery slippers so I have to pay attention or I will end up on my tush. I put them on and was struck by how pretty they are once stretched over my feet. They just look like little squares before you put them on and once on I felt like I had ballet slippers on…well, they are as close as I will ever get to wearing ballet slippers! I just felt so thankful for them today.

Aunt Ruth might have taken the time to get them to me years ago but today I was struck by her thoughtfulness and today I missed my pen pal. We don’t write so much to one another anymore. She is getting older and I am just so busy with kids and a husband but I really hope she knows I love her… well she is gonna know because it is about time I wrote her again. Love you Aunt Ruth!

TTFN

And The Heart Grows

by admin on March 24, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Life Keeps Changing, People In My Heart with No comments
There is always room in a persons heart.
The heart is strong and will easily grow.

This growth is fertilized by love and is there for unlimited.

For ever one involved, this weekend was important. For Dad this was a weekend of healing and hope. For sure his cancer diagnosis made meeting his daughters all the more vital! I can’t speak for my brothers but for me it felt like a piece of the puzzle put into place. There was no weird feelings, they just kinda clicked with the family. My sisters are clearly and obviously blood! I am so happy for all of us, that we can have these amazing women in our lives!

Love sprang forth so quickly. My Dad is not one to gush but he had to express over and over how he was proud of them and impressed with them and ultimately how his heart had grown so much in one weekend thanks to finally reconnecting with them. I know they easily fit right into my heart as well and when we took them to the airport this morning all I could think was how I already missed them.

How much can you say about a sibling before it crosses over to vanity and self flattery? Oh I would like to go to that line for them! As impossible as it is to really compare my brothers so it is with Amber and Kathleen. They are uncomparible. Each beautiful, strong and more then we could have hoped. Saying good bye at the airport brought the love gushing forth from my heart. When Kathleen hugged me good bye I didn’t want to let her go! She is so strong and inviting! When Amber cried I couldn’t help but cry too! She is so sweet and wise! Okay, officially gushing and smacking face first into that line!

I am so happy for my Dad.

TTFN

Looking At Gain as GOD and Not Stuff.

by admin on March 12, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Mama Heart Mushings, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME with 1 Comment

I ask my child to come spend time with me… perhaps I am running some errands and want their company and want to include my child. My child looks up at me and says ‘Will it be fun? Will I get a treat?’, basically saying ‘What’s in it for me?’. I reply ‘No treats, it will be fun if you decide it will be fun… it is about being with me.’ My child looks disappointed and says ‘No thanks.’ and my heart breaks in great disappointment. Later I take my child out for a special afternoon dedicated to my child alone and this child expects even more to the point of declaring the day ‘not very fun at all’ Again my heart breaks.

Would I, could I, be as patient with this child as my heavenly Father has been with me? Would I look at my child and understand he or she is just a short sighted child or would I become angry and give up on trying to spend time bonding with my child…

Has God felt that same sorrow, caused by my selfishness and treat seeking view of our relationship? Do I act like that, seeking what I want from Jesus, treats, rewards; instead of seeking MY FATHER?

A conversation I heard between my husband and my boy just the other day reminded me of times I have faced this type of exchange with my eldest daughter. When my man ended the conversation with a statement similar to the one below I was blessed with understanding about my Jesus and me.

‘If you come with me, while I do my work, we will find fun together and in one another. Our relationship will grow buddy! And I will have time to love you directly and you me. If you don’t come because you see no self serving benefit YOU are the one who will loose out.’

Can I sacrifice my ‘me me list’, my desire for treats in my walk with Christ, my desire to be rewarded for every bit of good I managed to do (which by the way is only possible through Christ and not me alone). Can I give this all up and just LOVE MY GOD?

TTFN

Sad

by admin on March 9, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, People In My Heart with 3 Comments
(Look at that sunbeam! Wishing for such a glow on my rocker today…)

As soon as I got home from the mom’s group I go to I took off my nice outfit and put on the comfies… which apparently isn’t a word so how about frumpies…, reached for the ‘I’m sad’ comforting grey sweater because being sad always leaves me chilled. I wanted to make my favorite curry egg salad sandwich and have it with pickles but I was already too tired to make it and the chocolate bar was just sitting there in my fridge…where did you come from? Oh well, I know where you are going! A cup of tea and a bowl of cinnamon smothered granola is all I can handle preparing right now and then I have to hit the rocking chair… a nap is on the horizon… I am going to curl up in the fetal position and wish there was a sunbeam to warm me up instead of a cloudy damp day that encourages my mood.

It all comes from crying all morning…

Which resulted from another fight with my eldest…

Which makes my Mama heart want to break…

So emotional I kept tearing up at mom’s group over the littlest things… I cried on the way home because there was an emotional song on the radio (had nothing to do with my circumstances but he sure sounded passionate and sad).

It isn’t a crushed kinda sad, in fact I feel very far removed from depression… I just get tired when I cry hard and then the tears keep sneaking out the rest of the day sometimes. I saw the victory and the hope… before she left today we where able to hug and share kisses… The patch up job came from a strength beyond me, it came from Jesus and I am so grateful today for his direct interest in my family dynamics and relationships!

Well my tea is ready and the granola is calling my name…

TTFN

Career Woman, No, Involved Mom, YOU BET:)

by admin on March 7, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Four Little Eggs In My Nest, Life Keeps Changing, Mama Heart Mushings with 1 Comment

It’s been about 8 years since I last worked at a library… This was my field of work but when my first of four babies arrived I gladly put it aside to be at home. Now in a place where family is available and willing to help out and the older two are in a school near by I decided to start volunteering at their school library… one, to be involved in their school world and get a feel for the atmosphere they live out so much of their day in and two, to test the waters and see what it might feel like to work again.

I loved volunteering, it felt right and very familiar and the children where adorable BUT I knew almost immediately that I am no career woman. There was so much rush and restriction threw at me and my babies right away that I felt unhappy at the thought of doing this as a job. Volunteering I can still do it when it is right for me and my babies and so that is how it, ‘my career’, will remain for a long time.

If it wasn’t part of my kids world I wouldn’t pursue this, as much as the break from the home was nice I can think of better things to do FOR ME, if you will, then to return to ‘my career’. Waters tested and this Mama was assured that her heart is still very much at home with the four little eggs in my nest!

TTFN

Father and ALL POWERFUL Combined

by admin on March 7, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, My Year of Right Sacrifice-TIME with No comments
Lately I find myself learning about God in two different ways.In one breath, over and over, I am reminded to see my God through the eyes of a child, to see him as my father…
In the other breath I am finding a need to really appreciate how ALL POWERFUL he is and how FULL OF AWE he should make me…

The first lesson comes out in a new found trust in my Lord, a faith that continues growing as I learn how beautiful and unlimited his love it… it is setting me free in a new way and I embrace with desperate hands the things in this world, even my very place in this world, less and less…

The second lesson leaves me speechless. I want to proclaim, but I lack understanding, and in the end even speaking the name of Jesus seems so big, so powerful that I find his name will stick in my throat and I will get choked up. Music has returned to my life and what a wonder music is at such a time. How can I so easily and purely sing his name in song and yet specking it lately seems so BIG? More and more I am singing again in joyful anticipation of letting the name of JESUS gush from my heart to fall on my lips.

TTFN

Tapestry

by admin on February 23, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Life Keeps Changing, My Romance with 4 Comments
MARK 4:32
It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when sown on the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on earth, yet when it is sown it grows up and becomes larger than all the garden plants and puts out large branches, so that the birds of the air can make nests in its shade.

And so often a mommy has a day where she doesn’t feel up to the task… she is so tired… so warn down… she just wants to go to bed… she wants the impossible… the impossible is being able to put her mommy job on pause.

It takes faith to hold it together.
It takes faith to be a mommy, faith that I am up to the task.
It takes faith to be a wife, faith that our marriage will go the distance.

Thankfully faith doesn’t intimidate me as it once did, it isn’t completely mystifying…

I know it is Gods will that I hold it together.
It is Gods will for me to be a good mommy to these four babes.
It is Gods will for me to be a wife and for our marriage to go the distance.
And in knowing his will in these areas, my faith is in him and from him.

Garnet came home with the above tapestry for me. He found it at a favorite store of mine and knew I would like it in our bedroom. Why did he do this? He felt lead to do it for me yesterday. This is his style… no reason other then he wanted to love me in this way, at this time. He didn’t know I was having one of those day… but he couldn’t have had better timing. He spoke the above verse to me as he gave me the gift. He felt it would be great to hang with the verse above it in the future.

Mommy’s don’t always get spoiled in such obvious ways when they are having one of THOSE DAYS or weeks, been there when it all seems to loom over your head for much longer then a mear day… but if we put our trust in Christ more about the mommy and wife stuff Christ will spoil us with the faith to make it through.

p.s. Right now my faith is pretty practical in one regard…I am having faith that naps will become more common in my house again:)

TTFN

Sisters

by admin on February 23, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Life Keeps Changing, People In My Heart with 3 Comments
This winter will for ever be the winter that my sisters found us.

My Dad had not been in contact with them for almost 35 years. They didn’t even know we existed (we being my brothers and I, their half siblings). A call to the right Al and they found him. That lead them to connecting with Aaron, Jesse and I on facebook and it has all lead to us planning to get together!

There have been many emails, instant message chats and long phone calls as we all get to know one another. There has even been skypeing!

You walk around thinking you live a boring kinda life compared to others and then something like this happens. I didn’t know if I would ever meet them. Always hoped but didn’t try to believe to much…

At first you think, wow life is complicated, and then you realize perhaps it was more complicated to not have this all worked out… maybe this is JUST RIGHT!

p.s. Related to this post weeks ago: Two new people, important people, have appeared in my world and they come with questions and emotions and we, who are involved, are all trying to digest it all slowly and embrace the wonder of it all. Perhaps I will share more in the future but right now it still feels bigger then life!

TTFN

A Refreshing Reminder

by admin on February 16, 2010 in Bits Of My Personality, Dem Kids Sayed WHAT?, Holiday Messages, My Romance with 1 Comment

A double date with my guy’s brother and wife. She is a dear sister of mine and so it was like going out with great friends as well as close family. We watched a silly movie… tense enough to excuse my snuggling up to my guy. We enjoyed a late evening meal at a very fashionable lounge. We all returned home to our babies and thanked the grandparents who watched both families worth of kids! Couldn’t have done it without them!

Today, watched our wedding video, first time in a long time. Garnet and I gave one another mushy looks and chuckled at the younger, perhaps sillier, versions of ourselves. I practically roared with laughter at my oldest son’s horror when the big kiss was played out on DVD. I had to elbow him after he exclaimed ‘Awe! You guys KISSED??!!’ Apparently he hasn’t been to enough weddings.

The date was enjoyable and a refreshing break. The family movie was a good reminder. The weekend was a touch of love and romance… I hope to be mushier with my man as the week goes on and not stop to appreciate our gift of love on Valentines day alone…,but, for those of us who are well advanced in our marriages and well aged by our maturing love, that goes without saying!

TTFN

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