Today it was a message I heard on podcast, link to RIGHT HERE.
I have felt the idea of ‘hold lightly’ moving in me for a couple years now and this was just another part of the education for me.
TTFN
Archive for January, 2011
Things You Hear That Make You Go WOW
A Pick Me Up For Little Woman
Little Woman adores dogs… always has had this drive to take care of and fuss over animals…that is why it is so upsetting for her, and me, when one snaps at her. We ran into the snappy little dog in a store today… I warned her to give it space but… she was so crushed and a bit scared when the little dog got mad at her approach. I hugged her and the owner punished the dog and yet she cried all the way to the van.
When we got to the van I decided to take her in to the grocery to have a look around and work out those tears. When she stopped at the flower section and kept smelling all the different plants I saw her smile return. Perhaps it was the joy she took in the pretty flowers or the pleasure smelling them gave her… this could have been even more of an effect on me since I have no sense of smell… but the potted daffodils fate to come home with us was a sealed deal when she told me ‘I would take such very good care of the baby flowers.’
The little pot of strong and young plants was on sale so I was smiling as we payed for them. The little girl holding them, carefully and firmly, in her grasp was smiling because she had something to mother. This was a perfect little pick me up for Little Woman, it is totally a need of hers to be helpful, important and even domestically motherly.
TTFN
Best Of Both Worlds
I truly enjoy the contrast in these two pictures.
One could get two very different impressions of my dog and my relationship from both. Am I a pampering doggy mommy (I can tell you RIGHT NOW I am honestly uncomfortable with the term doggy mommy… but moving on…) or the dog owner who enjoys the company of her side kick?
One could also gain two different ideas about my dog and my personalities. Am I the genteel lady of the house with her little pooch or am I the tomboy type with her d-o-g buddy?
Truth be told if he could get away with it Riddick would be a pampered (over sized) lap dog but I have too much fun hiking and running with him and he really does love to get out there and just take off. I enjoy all things feminine, I find pleasure in the domestic side of my life, but more and more I get so much energy out of working up a sweat in the great outdoors.
So I suppose we are a good
TTFN
Gorgeous Rest (six)
I sat with a cup of tea, reading. My youngest two sat on the floor playing calmly.
With great joy exclaimed aloud Little Woman popped up like a jack in the box and ran for the window. A large flock of birds had taken flight. Wee little birds where they, and adorable, as they danced around the berries on our neighbors tree. Baby Boy soon followed her, stunned a bit, as I was, by her interruption of our afternoon repose. Pointing, ooohs and aaahs followed the interruption. As the birds settled my babies drew their attention to the hoarfrost that had coated everything outside. Little Woman saw so many shapes in the frost and wanted to tell me about them all. On went the chatter until she was distracted by her hands and Baby Boy by his toy car. They slid down the couch and again embraced the idea of a repose. I returned to my tea and thought about how I would record this lovely moment because it was, in fact, just so lovely!
Repose, temporary rest from activity, excitement, or exertion. This is the way my afternoons often are, just before the oldest two burst in the door from school and shatter any hopes of such a quiet atmosphere reoccurring until well after bed time. As a new mom I found all the repose hard to take at times but with four children of varied ages I now cherish it and realise it is temporary oh so temporary. I want to enjoy it enough that I am not desperately disappointed when it is shattered too quickly for my taste. I want to savor repose and not waste a moment.
I am keenly aware of the value in still times, quiet times, times of rest today and so I am very thankful for repose. It is a gift in a hectic world to be at rest. Thank you Jesus for times of rest in my life! May I always make use of them.
TTFN
The Ear and Define Hollow!
LITTLE WOMAN–‘Don’t brush my ear Mom.’
MOM–‘I will watch out for it.’
LITTLE WOMAN–‘Mom what is in my ear?’
MOM–‘Wax.’
LITTLE WOMAN–‘And??’
MOM–‘A drum that sound bounces off so you can hear.’
LITTLE WOMAN–‘And??’
MOM–‘A tube.’
LITTLE WOMAN–‘What is a tube?’
MOM–‘It is like a straw. Long and round and hollow.’
LITTLE WOMAN–‘OH HOLLOW! I know hollow! Some people sing it.’
MOM–‘What do you mean?”
LITTLE WOMAN– (breaking into song at this point) ‘Hollow lu la, hollow lu la!’
MOM–‘He he he… no honey that is hallelujah.’
LITTLE WOMAN– ‘Oh… right.’
I conversation this morning as I did her hair.
TTFN
Warning, Not Making
Watching your children face consequences is so very painful, so important for that child’s healthy growth but so very hard for a mommy’s heart. As I start to let my stubborn child face up to choices made I acknowledge this is a very new and scary place for me as a mother.
Always available to tell you the better way my love,
to help you find it,
but also to let you learn… insist you face consequences
and to love you any ways.
to help you find it,
but also to let you learn… insist you face consequences
and to love you any ways.
I didn’t think I would move out of the young stage so soon… it is hard to acknowledge that I physically can’t prevent my kids from all harms and bad choices anymore… that even though I still have preschoolers my older two are far beyond that stage and onto bigger things that are so much harder on my mind and heart. I can warn them but unlike my babies I can only MAKE them to a point now…
Following my mom’s wise advice I will be praying so MUCH for my children, so much more now even… it is so easy to pray for them when they are sweet babies and tender children but as they move into more ornery stages I hope I will be all the more disciplined a prayer warrior on their behalf.
I am moving beyond my comfort level as a mom already, LORD protect my heart!
Note: This section added January 10th.
P.s. Found this phrase, LABORING OVER LOVE or love laboring, and it hit me that that is how I have been feeling, in regards to my babies… Found it at the link above.
The author shared a concept that you never stop laboring over your children… painful but necessary and oh so much a part of love… I needed to read that… and just breath.
She seems like a very thankful lady so I must look into more of her writing as I work on a year of thankfulness myself. Right now I am truly thankful for her article and her concept, for it has calmed me down and helped me see the strength in being a mom, in being one mom among so very many, world wide, who deal with the pain of loving children all their days…
TTFN
Hair
(Baby Boy doing Mama’s hair.)Eldest Damsel has a whole lot of hair now. She likes it down but this mama can’t handle it looking scruffy or flopping in her face so I am forever looking for new things to do with her hair that we both like. French braids have been the big deal of late. 
We are trying them in different ways and even Little Woman has got involved. Now Little Woman is another story, she LOVES getting her hair done. This girl told me when she grows up she wants to be a doctor so she can do peoples hair. I explained that wasn’t what doctors do. She informed me she wanted to do that badly and I let her know she for sure could but they are called hair stylists, not doctors. She sat so nicely for me as I put her first french braids in. We might not do it again soon as her hair is a little short for it yet and when I saw tears in her eyes over it I just couldn’t put her through that again. 
Baby Boy is not one to be left out so he lately has developed an interest in the brushes and combs around here. I try real hard to find the time to sit still for him so he can brush my hair. It is so very cute when he gets the brush and orders me ‘Sit, sit down. Sit down Mom’ as he pats the couch! I know I need to soak the attention up from my boy.
So ends the hair chronicles for now.
(the wrap around french braid variation, on Eldest Damsel)
TTFN
Anger For Thankfulness (five)
In my experience, spend years pushing down feelings, perfecting numbness and you will be left with panic filled anger, rage really. This type of anger is unique and powerful because it appears to be an effective shield.
After getting scared enough to begin letting go of my numbness I started putting more trust then I ever had before in the Lord; trusting him to take care of me in all my states of mind and heart. What a gift… and that truth clicked for me…came wrapped up with a bow the last time I had a public… moment.
At a study I had broke down in tears. I settled myself down and then said, for myself as much as or perhaps more then for them, ‘I would apologies but that would only come out of my pride and fear of appearing weak and needy… Truth is I have spent too long breaking out of numbness. This… this is a gift.’ The ladies around me smiled and accepted that… I sat there clinging to hope that I believed it too.
Today I am deeply thankful for feeling and for the Lord breaking down my walks of numbness before I broke myself permanently with it.
This came to mind today as I shared with a friend my fears about learning thankfulness this year. I do see thankfulness as a God given strength, when authentically from the heart…yet I have confused anger with strength and a shield for so long that feeling called to put it down to make room for thankfulness makes me feel vulnerable…
I sat thinking about this idea of surrendering anger. I was surprised to find in myself the trust was deeper then the pride and I was indeed deeply thankful for the Lord breaking down that final wall that always threatens to shut me into the trap of numbness again. I am so very very thankful to dispose of numbness and this prideful anger. Most of all I am so very thankful to trust that the Lord can continue to handle what spills out of me as a result.
TTFN
Growth in Childhood Anxiety (terrible truth)
(The adorable frost mushroom that my kids found on my kitchen window, they check to see that it hasn’t melted away every day.)Research into children and their modern stresses is going on as we speak and has been for a while. A paper is being written, and is currently under review, about some of the findings and what they may mean.
The author of this paper was sharing her thoughts today on the radio and I was amazed at the timeliness, in my life personally. I needed a good self examining of my parenting of late (always a good practice I believe). Am I giving in to the very non-beneficial social norms of focusing overly on pumping my kids up with the YOUR SPECIAL thing and disregarding the importance of teaching empathy? Am I pushing them overly hard to succeed at stuff like school or sports so they can GO FAR and I can feel good about it? Do I let them PLAY lots? Just play! Like kids!
Child anxiety is BIG, much bigger then it used to be and unlike other times in history it isn’t going down of late. In young adults it is actually growing all the time. They asked children what they are anxious about and not once did they mention finances, or enough money to take care of them (something I think a lot of adults worry about). The kids mentioned the unity of their family and the physical safety of their family. The researcher believes this is related to the fact that mental illness in kids and divorce rate are growing at the same rate. From personal experience I can see this relation since divorce really seems to be a lot of kids greatest fear.
Another large contributor they discussed was greatly related to EDUCATION… ‘What,’ you say? Education is a good thing… and it is but too much of a good things and… you are throwing up, to put it nicely. They discussed the overzealous ‘my kids is a genius’ trend among parents. Apparently most of the extra push to put these poor kids over the top isn’t working. Instead it is creating a less empathetic generation who is stressed out from a very very young age. Apparently it is called ‘shadow education’, when kids are put in extra stuff and put through extra stuff to increase their academic standing, when they are already successful (not talking here about children who need it because of learning disabilities and such). In the country with the highest usage of this parenting style (Korea) there is no signs that it helps.
When they mentioned how education is now considered THE only real way to really prepare your kids for SUCCESS my heart went in my throat… Sorry, for me that is where Jesus comes in… yup, love… that simple… They never clearly said it but it seems clear, once again, that kids NEED love to be successful in life.
Excuse me while I go hug my kids and make sure they know I love them… then I am gonna tell them to be nice to other kids (wink).
TTFN
Carry On Keeping The Winter Wind At My Back
I know it is a matter of days before I will have to take down the Christmas decorations… I am holding out because I always find it harder to be cheery this time of year once the Christmas decor is gone. Winter here is long, very cold and very snowy with short days and long nights.
HOWEVER this year feels so different since I have been able to get out lots and I may be discovering a really joy in winter sport. Jogging in the winter accomplishes so much more with less distance. Sledding and skating are super fun and I always have company since I can make my kids go with me. I am loving hiking with my dog loving pal and looking forward to finally getting my skis waxed for cross country. I hope to try snowshoeing again and have the boots that can click right into them.
Winter seems less bleak since I don’t feel hindered from GETTING OUT THERE. Here’s to activity and joy in the snow! I hope my optimism keeps up and outlasts this season. Here’s hoping the bone chilling winter wind stays at my back (a tweak on the old Irish blessing).
Merry Winter to you all and may you find warmth of heart no matter the weather:)
TTFN
