She took a deep breath in, held it… and then slowly let it out. But for the mess of breakfast dishes, and the almond milk left sitting out again, it would be hard to tell there was a crew of kids in that kitchen only minutes before. Gazing out the window she spotted the big yellow bus pull away… with her crew of kids. Turning back to the dishes she sighed deeply and hugged her mug of coffee close.
She could get up, rush through the morning clean up… put that almond milk away… but she had newly developed a fear of running out of things to clean up during the day… and then just sitting… imprisoned in time, the time it would take for her kids to return. So instead she would sit now, pretending to relax… pretending she wasn’t just sitting to spread the days duties out more. The silence was strong enough to be its own presence… it almost pounded in her ears, but thankfully the birds where singing in the distance; and neighbours where honking their horns, packing their cars, slamming their doors and driving away for the day. “It’s so quiet you’re shaking….perhaps it is so foreign to your Mama life that it’s chilling you to the bone,” Mizie thought to herself, “Nope, your not shaking… your just thinking about being that effected by your little ones departure.” She mechanically shook off her silly thought pattern and sipped her coffee.
Misty eyes blurred her vision as she pushed herself off the couch. “The only thing really bothering you is change. Half the time you like change… You will get used to the silence, or put on some music… and be a great mom. A great mom with more stuff going on that revolves around your own personality… And you will be okay with that… eventually. It’s just so very different right now.”
The phone rang. She thought about ignoring it, but the idea of a voice on the other end seemed like a good thing at that moment. “Missy? You there,” said the voice?
“It’s pronounced Mizie… with a French accent. Don’t draw out the name, rush through it with flare,” Mizie replied.
“Missy seriously?! Are you even French,” exclaimed the voice?
“Nope. Totally Welsh… but the name isn’t,” said Mizie. The line went silent. Mizie breathed in and out, in and out; and so did the voice.
Finally, “So in a funk today,” said the voice?
“I haven’t decided yet. They all just left on the bus. I haven’t got my barrings… still running through pep talk thoughts,” said Mizie.
“Soooo, do you wanna go shopping? Go for coffee? Join a yoga class,” rambled the voice.
“Nope. I wanna say I have big plans, like I am going back to school or taking a part time job, or taking up knitting… but so far I am focused on spreading out the daily chores. I don’t want to start stuff yet. I want to be sure that is what I want the next chapter to look like. I wish I had done some preliminary thinking about this chapter…” said Mizie.
“I’m coming over, for moral support.” offered the voice.
“I haven’t decided if I need that yet… can I get back to you,” asked Mizie?
“Ooooo k… Right. I’ll be around then,” said the voice, her tone oozed exasperation.
“Bye Fizz. Get my name right when you call back,” said Mizie.
“You haven’t called me Fizz since grade…”, started the voice.
“Good bye Fizz, I am going to wash my hair,” said Mizie.
” K bye,” said the voice, which was followed by a click.
Mizie smiled. She looked at the clock. “Drat, it is still so early,” she remarked. She marched back to the couch with purpose., right passed the almond milk… still on the table. Flopping down she curled up and smiled. Tomorrow she would do something. Tomorrow she would be bored of trying to figuring this new stage out… but today… today would be well spent adjusting to TIME on her hands… Time had been a precious commodity for many many years previous.
The door bell rang… her fox terrier barked… she rolled over and ignored them both.
Always Lady Mac an Rothaich
TTFN
