Alone At The Decline Of Day

As I put the kids to bed, alone this evening, the anticipation bloomed within.  I had big beautiful plans to read, tea it up and perhaps even watch some TV of my own choosing.    I could work on my guitar playing, pick out a new song to learn the vocals to.  I could bake uninterrupted or simply dance to music while I catch up on chores (chores that are so much more fun with music blaring).  Perhaps this all could put me in the introverted category, or is a sign I might finally be growing up… or growing older… I prefer to see this contentment with nights alone as a sign that things are more balanced in my world of ‘mommy’.

I think back to the little old me who was so tired and often lonely, the one who would cry and go to bed early if her husband wasn’t going to be home with her.  SHE didn’t get out enough, or see enough of others in all different ages and stages of life.  I want to hug her and tell her she will get the energy back and find the balance of socializing and loving her own comfy home.

I am indeed in a new stage of life, where controlling the temptation to be busy and always away from the home has replaced the endless hours stuck… stuck with a baby on my hip and not enough energy to venture out in the world.  The effort to not take on too much extra curricular type things, for my children and I, is appearing a winning battle of late.  We are soaking up the evenings together, all of us, with their Dad.  Time for meals together, family meetings, work and play.  Choices, it all takes choices, we choose to do less,  and to see nothing days around the house as a very very important something to do.

Yesterday I sat in a very familiar spot, facing west and gazing out my main window.  Grandma’s quilt wrapped around me,  a new book and a sleepy grey day beckoned me to nap.  I wanted to stay awake long enough to be thankful; thankful that I wasn’t there because I was sick and tired (like the past few years).  I wanted to sit and remember being there with babe on chest and toddlers under foot; remembering all in a warm happy light.  The house was so quiet the silence felt thick.  My youngest had passed out on the couch next to mine; his rosy puffy cheeks, pouty lips and fluttering eyelids had me gushing with ‘mama mush’.  This was another fabulous moment where I was keenly aware that contentment with godliness is great gain.

Where I was has been important, and the memories are special.  Where I am AT is delightful.  Where I am going will be all right.  May I continue to find contentment with where I am, the skin I am in and who I am with (no matter how we and the children change as we all age).  Thank you Lord for different seasons of life, for times of rest and times of activity, for family and cozy homes shared.

Always Lady Mac an Rothaich

TTFN

One Comment on "Alone At The Decline Of Day"

  1. Munro, Robin says:

    Well written and so true. As I age I try to enjoy each and every moment for how special it is and count my blessings. I cannot even begin to explain how I felt as we took our first deer hunt together last week Rebecca. There was so much that happened and I am still reflecting on what a lovely time we had and all we did and saw. Love you. MOM

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