I became a Christian for many reasons. One was this constant feeling, this nudge, that there was more to it all. After having been a Christian for many years now I again feel this nudge that there is more to it all… more to this Christian life I took up in my youth. It is a feeling that I shouldn’t be afraid to grow and mature in the faith and move on from what is now normal or what now comes natural. It wasn’t normal or natural for me to take the initial plunge into Jesus and yet I did it…
The way I live now comes naturally. We are normal middle class north Americans… and yet… I want to fearlessly take another plunge into living for the kingdom of Christ now and not spend all my time working on my kingdom, on forming my identity, on shaping everything around me to reflect bits of me…
All this stuff, all I possess was given to me anyhow! I don’t want to be like the Ezekiel 16 woman and take the gifts, specifically the gift of life and use it for my own selfish gain and walk right into my own destruction.
It doesn’t sound normal… but if you take a look at
Bits and pieces here, fragmented thoughts… as I said before, it is a nudge right now… however, I do have the urge to plunge in even with just a driving nudge in my heart! No more prancing and dancing on the shore of the issue:)
TTFN
Read this in my study time yesterday and it moved me. I am an admirer of thing old fashioned, I am drawn to things ancient, I am happy as a student of history so this portion of Proverbs struck true to my heart.
Think about it and let me know what you come up with… I understand this is WISDOM crying out in the streets and yet so much of it felt like a sweet prophetic kiss from my Lord…secrets about love seem to lurk here…
v.24 When there were no depths I was brought forth,
v.25 Before the mountains were settled,
v.28When He established the clouds above,
v.30 Then I was beside Him as a master craftsman;Blessings of the Lord Jesus Christ to you all:)
TTFN
I really like Father’s Day.
(Garnet and his brother kicking back while, as you can see in the below picture, Grandpa does the work. Pop is teaching the kids to play boccie.)
Today heard a preacher’s message, of course, about fathers. I was again not surprised at how it was uncomfortable at points… because there is something lurking in our society, an undercurrent that is unafraid to go nuts on the praise for moms but almost feels guilty if they do the same for dad. It can even leak into church… I think it is distasteful to have this oil slick in our society, spreading into all our ideas about Dads.
My Dad rocks. He sacrificed much for us. We where his best pals growing up and he always put us ahead of friends or at least took us with when he occasionally did stuff with friends. HE LOVED including us and could even wear us out with his enthusiasm FOR US. He showed us how to live life like an adventure! He taught us to value people above stuff, and above all else value Jesus Christ. He so clearly loves his kids!
My Husband rocks. He gives so much of himself. He has willingly changed and grown to be a deliberately better dad. Garnet understands it is about TIME with the kids! He also doesn’t listen to dad labels. He is his own version based on what he feels the kids need from him. Not old fashioned to the point of putting work above his kids or not valuing the importance of affection and time that a dad must give to his kids to be truly effective… and not too modern to require respect from them and put consequences in play when needed.
(My man and I at the river today.)
God didn’t call himself our Father because they are not as great as Mom’s. Abba Father isn’t meant to be underrated… He knows dads are important and most are awesome and so as I appreciate and adore my Father in Heaven I hope I can show enough appreciation to the dads I know, doing their best, down here:)
Women crave appreciation, I sure do, so why not give it to our men!? I know the beautiful moms around me would totally agree!
TTFN
You didn’t go looking for trouble but life comes with troubles and you tend to then stress out… to prove how much you care…
Once you get started it snowballs and before you know it you are being run over by your own creation.
Why do we do that to ourselves? It hurts! Physically, mentally, spiritually!
Peace of mind… Peace is a blessing that comes filled with joy. It will not make us immune to struggles but will allow us to not crumble and prevent us from punishing ourselves with stress.
Our God is bigger then the stressing, bigger then the struggles and he wants to ease our body, mind and heart.
Thank you Jesus for the healing you bring to those stressed by the worries of this life.
TTFN
When I look at the river I will always remember this verse and when I think of this verse I will always remember my cities river.
-All Creatures of Our God and King-
THEN
NOWHaving a quiet rainy day at home. Making buns, doing laundry and enjoying my cozy home. It is a relief to be at home today, stuck because of a delivery I am waiting for. Yesterday was a crazy errand day and the rest of the week will be filled with preparations. I decided to post this today because I am sure even our actual anniversary date will be busy. We are renewing our vows on the weekend and having a ceremony for our family. The buns are for the potluck that will follow the ceremony. I really don’t want this party to be about stress but about celebrating life and family and OF COURSE my husband and my love for one another so I am trying to take it slow and not go overkill on plans… thus today… a slow it down day… an enjoy now day.
I can still see the young guy I married when I look at my husband. I can still get completely mushy when I think about how we fell in love.
From a Passionate Love to a Crazy Love.
I am no longer full of secrets, they where never kept from him, just undiscovered when we started out together. All is reveled, he knows all my fear and faults as well as my dreams and qualities. I also, in turn, no all this about him. This is a CRAZY love! In a modern world where love is to be easy and fun and exciting it is crazy to love someone for who they really are, the good and bad. Most expect others to love them that way but are unable to give such forgiving and patient love. Everyone finds it so easy to say good by when people change or things get tough. Everyone understands the passionate love, the showy romance. It is drilled into us, coming from every angle. To understand the crazy love is much more difficult. It is HARD. It is worth it.
“Crazy love, in a world where I could be my own woman and hold my own dreams I choose to be your woman and dream of being a couple to the end.”
TTFN
I barely had time to focus at all on last months hymn, another I will have to return to. This month I determined to shape up. Tonight I sacrificed tea time to find a hymn that was ment for me right now. I wanted plenty of time with it as I tasted it carefully for the first time. I am so thankful I did.
This months hymn drew my attention because it had simple lyrics that where a good reminder for this stubborn heart of mine. When I turned on the music I knew it was THE song for this month. The music turned seemingly simple words strung together into truth, encouragement and beauty. It is so pretty and earnest.
‘I Must Tell Jesus’ was written by Elisha Albright Hoffman , click on his name to find a biographical write up. I recognized another of his hymns, ‘Are You Washed In The Blood Of The Lamb’, right away. A few others like ‘What A Wonderful Savior’ are also very pretty.
This hymn feels so right I don’t think it will take much for me to learn it:)
TTFN
We have had what feels like WEEKS of rain… I love rain but it was getting pretty cold and we even had to put the heat on again, grrrr. Two days of warm sunshine and it is raining again… but… this rain is different, it is still pretty warm out so I have the windows open and I am listening to the rain drops and the happy birds. I don’t know why but a warm rain feels comforting to me. If I could find a way to wrap myself up in a warm rain I would.
Rain, two sleeping kids and a beautiful touching song on the radio left me sitting in my van long after I had arrived home. I let the song play out and listened to the rain on the van roof; the babies slept on for a while longer. I felt something break a bit… I felt a shield of anger crack and a bit of hope felt warm in my chest.
One thing I have learned about myself this year is that I use ANGER as my ultimate mask and shield when I am feeling things so strong I am afraid of them. I know better then to let that take over now that I see it for what it is but… well… cranky is a miniature version of the same thing I think…
I had been dealing with a worry of mine by getting cranky, looking for any excuse really, so I could ignore what I was actually feeling and I was good at it! So good that I just thought I was simply cranky. Yesterday I started praying for the crankiness to move along because I felt like I couldn’t budge it on my own. That brings me back to my pause in the van…
Hope, that I could stop being cranky and cynical about all that surrounds this worry, has started to emerge. Cranky, anger, call it what you will, is a new type of numbness for me… ( used to do the no emotions shield till I felt so dried up it hurt).
Hope felt good, it hurt because it came with truth but truth is a good hurt… a healing hurt… it felt like the warm rain and I want to just wrap myself up in hope…
TTFN
(AND I’M FEELING GOOD!)This stormy little soul is entitled to her bright days too, you know, one of those days where you just feel happy and it all bounces off of your genuinely happy self.
Got so much done today and had a few things hit that would usually make it all come crashing down for me…family came through and it all worked out and I didn’t get stressed to prove how much I care!
I am feeling so loved today! Big Boy got sick at school while I was across town and the kids Grams came to my rescue without a thought! Auntie Mirelle took Little Woman for the afternoon at the drop of a hat to help me out and I couldn’t help but drive home smiling! I am surrounded by people who REALLY DO care about little old me and I am so THANKFUL!
This is me taking note because most of my posts are about the struggles lately… this is me taking note of the love that family surrounds me with. Love is the reason you hang on to family, forgive family and even put up with and are put up with by family.
TTFN
